Things I have learned:
- I’ve decided that this is the sequence of Sammy’s thoughts when he’s over tired and trying to fall asleep but can’t:
o Sammy: “ok, I’m super tired and cranky – I really need to sleep. I think there are 3 options:
1. I can yell, thereby making everyone around me super tired. This may not help me sleep, but I bet I’ll feel better. Misery loves company.
2. I can repeatedly poke myself in the eyes. Not sure why this seems like a good idea but I can’t help myself! Weeeeeee!
3. I can play hard to get with the pacifier that will instantly knock me out. You know, I can pretend to mom and dad like I don’t like it, then surprise! I’ll suck it into my mouth with the force of an industrial Dyson Vacuum cleaner and fall asleep in 2 seconds.
I know….I’ll do all three!”
- Sammy’s new habit: Waiting until I’m feeding with mom to unleash a poo-nami, therby ruining a good pair of pants
- Note to self: if you accidentally put a newborn size diaper on a 14 pound baby, when they pee, It will get on your lap. And by your lap, I mean grandma’s…
- When you put noise cancelling headphones on a baby at a concert and they fall asleep, when they wake up it will freak them out that they can’t hear. Whoops.
- Driving long distances with kids is a precarious task even on the best of days. During the last 4.5 hour stretch of our drive to Montreal, Danielle forbid me to stop and pee. Our conversation during the last 45 minutes:
o Josh: Ok, it’s been almost 4 hours. I really have to pee.
o Danielle: If we stop and he wakes up, it will be a 30 minute feeding. Can’t you hold it? We’re almost there.
o Josh: We’re 45 minutes away.
o Danielle: Man up. We’re not stopping.
o Josh: These speed bumps hurt!
Suffice it to say, we made it….
- Funny thing to do on a long drive: Eat a large bowl of chili before you leave. Then let your wife keep checking to see if your son pooped his pants during the drive – pretending like it’s not you that farted.
- Why is it that every morning when Sammy wakes up, he reacts as if he’s never breast fed before?
- I am not really considered as a relevant source of comfort and safety for Sammy by most people. Point in case: How come whenever we go to the doctor they always say to Sammy – “do you want your mommy?” What the hell? I’ve been right there holding him and comforting him for the last 20 minutes???
- There’s a possibility that Sammy will be a sleep walker. Every night we put him to sleep at the top of his crib. When he wakes up hours later, he’s wiggled his way to the bottom. We can mark the distance with the pacifier that’s been left 2 feet behind. Scary!
Important statistics we are tracking:
- Minutes of Tummy time before notification that it is not liked: 4 (vs. the recommended 25 – damn!)
- Length of time Sammy was hanging in some pee (he peed on his shirt) before we noticed – 15 minutes (sorry!)
- Number of neck rolls: 5 (see below)
- # of consecutive squats done to get Sammy to calm down during a freak out session: 50 (and I could hardly walk the rest of the day - I think I could make a baby calming exercise video)
- # of conference calls taken while feeding Sammy: 1 (I cannot vouch for full participation but I'm proud!)
Things we googled this week
- How much does a 2 month old eat? – translation: how is our baby so huge?
- Cradle cap
- How much tummy time?
- Right bedtime for a 2 month old
- Baby stomping
Best adult questions of the week:
- “Can I see your baby’s penis? I want to see if our moyal did a good job.”
- “Josh, have you ever tried Danielle’s milk from the source? Just wondering…”
Pictures/ Videos for your amusement
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| I count 5 rolls. Those rolls can conceal dried milk.quite gross. |
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| Some say fat arms. I say muscle. |
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| Sammy at summer Stage with noise canceling headphones |
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| Waking up - "wait, why can't I hear anything???" or "Really? You think it's ok to put these giant things on my head!?!" |
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| This is what happens when you put giant headphones on a mushy face... |
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| Road warriors....yes, I am changing Sammy outside of a Panera in Clifton, NY (the bathrooms were nasty!) |
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| Hipster |
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| Sammy requires all readers to have serious conviction in what they are saying - Jenny really got into the animal noises found in the instant classic, Moo, Baa, La La La by the John Grisham of baby books (i.e. pumps out a book about just about any garbage at a ridiculous rate), Sandra Boynton. |
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| I found another "comfy" place to sleep! |
The Calm-squatting technique. Not recommended for the faint of heart or those who value walking in the near future
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