At 3:45am a nurse walked into our hospital room and said "oh I know her, she's a crier."
Crap. Double crap.
Pretty sure this is what Samson was thinking on the day we brought Lily home: "You mean I spent 3 months being ultra good and you still brought her home? F THIS!"
So these days the best thing I can equate Samson to is a gas burner that's been left on waiting for a spark. That spark comes once a day.
There is a list of people living in my house that got hold of some spray bleach and sprayed it all over their shirt. The list did not include Danielle, me or Lily.
This was a fun weekend! It can be described by these 3 things:
1) Coxsackievirus. (yes, quite the name.)
2) Common cold.
3) Cluster feeding.
The definition of "Skill" is vacuuming while breast feeding
The term : “Garbage toys”
Gar-baj toys
1. –noun
Usually, the random garbage your kid finds in New York parks and determines that it is good to play with it.
Example: "My child found an old fruit roll up cup and picked it up asking if he could play with it. It was disgusting. I hate garbage toys"
The term : “Snarted”
Snar-ted
1. –verb
Usually, when a child flatulates as a result of a sneeze.
Example: "One of my children had a fart-evoking sneeze. It was an awesome snart."
Sammy wit and wisdom:
"Daddy, want to go to the Chadar Ochel. Want to go to camp!"
On boy/girl stuff:
"This is not for girls. This for boys (holding tools)."
Where does he get this stuff??
On conversations
Sammy: Daddy!Daddy!
Josh: What's up?
Sammy: Daddy! I'm having a conversation!
On his religious beliefs:
I'm gonna be a rabbi" (this was also said at a later date to the rabbis wife. Of course, later that day he wanted to be a baseball player and the next day a hockey player but hey....one can dream)
"Daddy, I'm going to be a rabbi that plays hockey"
On being helpful
"lily why you crying???"
On joke telling:
Sammy: knock knock
Kenia: who's there
Sammy: chalupa
Kenia : chalupa who?
Sammy: chalupa robin!!
On names:
Josh: What's your baby sisters name?
Sammy: Chalupa robin
More on names (Later that week):
Josh: Sammy what's your baby sister's real name?
Sammy: Chalupa Robin
Josh: What's her real first name?
Sammy: Chalupa!
Josh: Sammy what's your baby sister's real name?
Sammy: Chalupa Rob-Baby Lily!
On being a big brother:
Kenia: Sammy, make Lily happy and give her a kiss.
Sammy: Ok, but she doesn't need a hug
"Baby hold my wallet for a minute"
"I'm going to take my wallet to the bus driver "
Jokester (this was random)
Sammy: Is that a cow?
Josh: yes. What does a cow say?
Sammy: Moo
Josh: that's right
Sammy: Daddy, what does a silent cow say
Josh (confused): what?
Sammy: Mmmmmmmmmmmm....
On musical tastes:
Nora: Kenia - Let's put on Lady Gaga!!!
Kenia (putting it on): ok.
Sammy: I don't like Gaga!
Nora: How do you not like Gaga! everyone loves Gaga!
(We might save him yet...)
On parental company:
- "bad to not give newborns bath?"
- "what happens if you wait to give newborn bath?" (do not judge, please...)
Pictures for your amusement:
Videos for your amusement:
On musical tastes:
Nora: Kenia - Let's put on Lady Gaga!!!
Kenia (putting it on): ok.
Sammy: I don't like Gaga!
Nora: How do you not like Gaga! everyone loves Gaga!
(We might save him yet...)
On parental company:
Sammy: Nora do you want your mommy?
Nora: not right now Sammy.
Sammy: Why? But Nora your mommy loves you. And she will be home soon.
Nora: I know. But I'm OK right now.
Sammy: I love my mommy Nora and I love you mommy and they will be home soon they working.
Things we googled (oh how I forgot about this stuff - I thought we new it all!):
- "bad to not give newborns bath?"
- "what happens if you wait to give newborn bath?" (do not judge, please...)
- "How early is too early to use a woombie" - I actually emailed woombie. Shocker that they said "in the hospital"
- "How early is too early to use a pacifier"
- "How early can we start sleep training" - answer: not soon enough
- "how to get a baby to not need to be held all the time" - yep - why on earth would I go to the internet with this question? I guess I'm an optimist
- "How early can we start sleep training" - answer: not soon enough
- "how to get a baby to not need to be held all the time" - yep - why on earth would I go to the internet with this question? I guess I'm an optimist
Important statistics we are keeping track of:
- # of days it took for me to be hit with projectile poop: 3
- # of days it took for me to be hit with projectile poop: 3
- Number of times we asked Sammy to play "find the remote" over an agonizing 36 hour period where it went missing. You lose when he says "I don't know innocently".
Coincidentally we did find some of his missing medicine in his shirt drawer.
- Number of collective diapers we are now going through per week. It's got to be 100? crazy. We need 42 diaper genies, STAT.
- Number of collective diapers we are now going through per week. It's got to be 100? crazy. We need 42 diaper genies, STAT.
Pictures for your amusement:
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| Getting here hair "did" just an hour before giving birth.... |
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| Faux hawk. The nurses did this. trying to be funny? At least she looks cool in all her first pictures? |
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| Life is mildly different |
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| Cute picture of Lily followed by an.... |
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| Embarassing picture |
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| This is like brokering a peace treaty at Camp David. Only it's on our couch and between Samson and Lily. |
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| Expected this to be MUCH worse... |
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| The family that cleans together.... |
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| Searching for hidden remote control. this is my 4th time under the couch. |
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| SUCCESS!!!!!! |
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| An examination of the new person stealing attention from him |
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| The baby in the background is 3 months old. Lily, in the foreground is 10 days old. We have tall children. |
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| Playing with the ladies at Manya's birthday party. |
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| Watching the Zamboni with Uncle Rob. This is decidedly more interesting than Dad's hockey game that followed. |
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| Note the look on Lily's face. It says "GET THIS HAIRY ARM OFF OF ME! YOU CAN'T SWADDLE ME AND THEN PUT THAT THING ON ME? BECAUSE OF THIS TRAVESTY I WILL REMAIN AWAKE FROM 4AM TO 6AM EVERY NIGHT. GOOD LUCK :)" |
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| Proud parenting moments: When your kids start asking to listen to Bob Dylan. on Vinyl. I did one thing right. maybe. |
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| We should have warned Sabbah that Samson can seriously tackle people. He's pretty strong! |
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| If this couch is Camp David, Kenia is like the US President. |
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| I'll be the first to admit that a) I was wrong and b) I had a bit of a regression in progressive thinking. Somehow I had a hard time buying Samson a baby doll and a pink stroller to help ease his adjustment to Lily. I originally had a 5 ft basketball net that Danielle promptly vetoed. |
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| Giant meets baby (or a strange camera angle) |
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| Nora and Samson take in some Jazz at Wave Hill. |
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| This empty wall needed serious repair. Thankfully Samson is handy with a drill. |
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| Sammy's first trip to Sprout Lake was informative. He is seen here looking at a brick that says "Samson Kroo future camper" |
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| Camp lunch in the Chadar Ochel (with Omer and Noah) |
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| No trip to camp is complete without riding the Gator |
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| Ahoy, Matey! |
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| Sleepy baby. |
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| How is this at all comfortable? We're submitting this with her application to Cirque de Soleil. |
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| Garbage toy. YUCK. |
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| I'm sure this is not dangerous at all. |
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| looooooooooooooooooooooooong. |
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| Dancing man - Dancing in front of hundreds of people to some Puerto-african beats. |
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| It's rough to be the only dude at the Lil park (in our building) complex some days. Or is it? |
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| Sabbah, we told you to watch out! |
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| Passport photo taken on the FLOOR of the Riverdale post office. |
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| Just a couple of dudes hanging in the park, waiting for something to happen. Like lunch. |
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| She fell asleep like this. Weird. |
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| Picking up girls at the library. Apparently he went up to her and told her she was beautiful. Not making this up. |
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| Bagel date with Dad |
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| Sammy has mastered the self checkout at CVS. 90% of the population has yet to do this. |
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| Awesome. |
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| Like Crosby and Stills. |
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| Explaining why the Rangers are better than the Habs. "Isn't it obvious?" |
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| My dream coming true. |
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| Prepping for what "future hockey" might look like - hockey with two sticks. |
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| YAWN. |
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| Typical morning. |
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| We keep trying to get her to stay awake during the day. FAIL. |
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| King Kong meets a baby. |
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| Nothing too funny here - but it's got to warm your heart to see Nora looking after young Sammy when playing with the older kids. |
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| This act is coming to a small coffee house near you soon. It was not at all dissonant. |
Videos for your amusement:
Learning hockey on the ice:
Land hockey:
Wave Hill Dancing:
