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Things we Have learned:
- Danielle can totally use Sammy to get the things she’s always wanted but I’m too stubborn to get. Read: buying a car that was built post-2004.
- Taking Sammy to negotiate on buying a car can be an effective strategy. We were dealing with the owner, and he’s trying to tell us that he can’t go any lower. Meanwhile Sammy is there making him laugh and causing him to lose his train of thought throughout the conversation. It went something like:
o Darwin (car dealership owner): Guys – look – this is my price. You have to read the fine print in my ads.
o Danielle: Well, it’s just a little higher than we wanted. I’m not sure we can do it.
o Darwin: Listen – I’m not making any money al – Hey little guy! You don’t like what I’m saying? – look, I’m making no money already!
o Sammy: Guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [BUBBLE BLOWING] wooooooooh…..
- I previously said that we needed to move up to #2 diapers. I don’t want #2 diapers. I want to put him in a wet suit. A poop-proof wetsuit.
- My arm is going to break right off. Seriously. I’m in good shape but I’m not in “Faby” shape.
- I’m putting a veto on us calling him “big”, “huge”, “large”, “Tommy 2 tons” or anything like that . What if he gets a complex!?! Henceforth, when we (or you) want to point out how “zaftig” he is, let’s use “Faby”.
- Speaking of fabies…
- True love = picking boogers (happily) out of your kid’s nose
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- I am getting old. I used to think that if I went to bed before 11pm that I’d be missing something. Now I think that if I’m in bed later than 10:30 I should have my head examined. According to this logic, I should have my head examined a lot.
- The return of the witching hour is upon us. It was Sammy’s gift to Danielle on her first week back at work. He wanted to let her know that from this week forward we will predominantly be around him while he screams at us. I thought we had to wait for the teenage years for that.
- It’s not possible that after one week Sammy likes Kenia (our amazing nanny) more than us is it? IS IT???? I don’t see Kenia doing “The Rollover” at 2am – do you Sammy?
- Sammy might love himself more than we love him. He sat laughing at a video of himself laughing for at least 20 straight minutes.
- Our latest sleep regression combat tactic is to let Sammy sleep in only PJs (no woombie/swaddle/sleep sack/anything!) This means that it is very difficult to know if he needs to be changed. I've been feeling pretty horrible knowing that after that first night, I must have left him in the "Pearl Harbor" of poos for at least 5 hours. but he was sleeping!!!
I’m not sleeping enough moment of the week: On Thursday morning, when Danielle asked, I literally could not remember if I woke up to help Sammy during the night.
Important Statistics we are keeping track of:
- Number of times we’ve been called by the scamming baby talent agency Interface (they approached Danielle in the mall) trying to get us to bring Sammy in for a “consultation” so HE can decide (How exactly will he voice his opinion?) whether he wants to get into “the business” : 14 - Every night for 2 weeks. Of course, they can’t tell us what it would cost until they consult with Sammy since each baby is different.
- Number of times I said to Danielle in the middle of the night” please get him, I can’t get up”: 2 (after giving her the birthday/anniversary/channukah/starting work gift of 3 days where she could sleep through the night.
- Number of poos Sammy took last Wednesday: 0 (and we were right to be terrified)
- Number of times I found Sammy with his leg sticking out through the crib: 1 (and it took only once until we put up the protecters)
- Number of degrees Sammy turned in his sleep Thursday night: 180
- Number of times we asked “Could he be teething???”: 1 x per day
- Number of friends that had babies this past week: 4(!) Congrats to the Scharf, Osten-Liss, Robinson and Thayer families!
Things we googled this week:
- Ferberize (he’s too young)
- 4 month old head bang in sleep (he did this only once, and it was weird
- 17 pound baby milk quantity
- Baby sleep regression (you know it’s bad when this makes it in 2 weeks in a row)
- Most toxic car seats (sad that I had to google this!) – for those that care (http://www.ecocenter.org/press-release/2011/hazardous-flame-retardants-and-chemical-additives-found-60-percent-2011-child-car )
Quote of the week: "Because you thought this picture was funny we now have poop all over the hamper” Note: I have a warped sense of humor and left a poop-massacred onesie hanging off the hamper for a while after putting it there to memorialize it in a picture.
Pictures for your amusement:
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| I have this picture in so many different ways/days. I'm worried it is no longer my bed. |
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| Couple of Fabies hanging out in the park! Hi baby Owen! |
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| Infatuated with.....himself! |
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| SEE!?! |
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| Doing the cha-cha in his big boy stroller |
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| Almost rolling over! |
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| This worked for a few minutes. It's either a fun to to teach him to use his legs or a medieval torture device. |
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| His Andrew Dice Clay look. When you look at this picture, Imagine Dice saying "eehhhhhhhhh" or "ridiculous" |
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| Meet Saul, Samson's old man alter ego |
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| Danielle Playing "Superman" with Sammy |
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| Danielle trying to eat (?) Sammy |
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| Sleep regression combat tactic # 21: PJs |
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| Reading time with pal Nora. He loves the older women. |
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| Faby central! |
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| 180 degree rotation. Note the paranormal Activity sound animal in the corner. |
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| Sammy is finding new uses for his feet all the time. Upon waking up in Trader Joe's, he used his foot like a periscope. |
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| Cradle Cap, meet Extra virgin Olive Oil: Your worst nightmare. |
This is your "next picture is gross" warning:
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| Aforementioned poop-massacred onesie. I have issues, I know. But it makes me laugh! |
To see a better quality baby spanx video:
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/Baby-Spanx/1255812
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