Things I have learned:
- I’m going to start calling Sammy “Testy Mcgee” - It seems that our young Padawan (look it up if you don’t know what this important reference is) has starting trying to figure out if Mom and Dad are as big sissies as he thinks. Examples:
o He’ll cry in the middle of the night, even though he’s not hungry, just to see if we’ll come and - Check – Dad the sucker will come put the pacifier back.
o Don’t feel like taking a nap? He’ll decide to terrorize us to see if he can get held for a bit.
We’re going to have to call in someone meaner than us to curb this behavior. I’m thinking Dolph Lundgren if he’s available.
- Something tragic has occurred in the medium-sized living space we call our apartment. The desecration of our bed. Sammy has now pooped, spat up….and lord knows what else on our bed. It’s both gross and disturbing. Miraculously Danielle and I look at him after these vicious acts of vandalism and say “but he’s so cute!” We are softies…More on this later….
- Taking a child to the airport and travelling without your spouse (Kudos, Danielle) feels a little like purgatory. Things to expect and what to do:
Meltdown #1: The moment you exit the car - What to do: pray. Then change a diaper hanging out of your car.
Meltdown #2: When mass hysteria breaks out while waiting in an inexplicably long line (who goes to Cincinnati on Sunday night?) to check your massive bags filled with kids stuff – be thankful that your spouse helped you by coming into the airport with you – Action: point to airplanes and hope Sammy can see that far. If not, sing happy and you know it repeatedly until the line is through.
Meltdown #3: getting through security – kindly beg the security guard to assist by keeping your child
Meltdown #4: landing – stare at people giving you looks that you used to give other people with babies. You’ve joined the darkside of flying.
Meltdown #5: When you finally see dad (who has missed him!) and was hoping for a cheerful reunion. That will teach us to keep him up past his bed time.
Meltdown #5: When you finally see dad (who has missed him!) and was hoping for a cheerful reunion. That will teach us to keep him up past his bed time.
- When your child takes a massive smelly poo in the confines of a plane while landing it’s best to look at them sheepishly and fake a chuckle: “look how cute!”
1. The term : “The Rollover”
Ro-ll o-ver
1. –noun
Act of rolling one’s child on to his side in the hopes that he will stop playing whack-a-mole on his face with his fists while trying to sleep. One hopes this stops soon into the post-swaddle era.
- Sleeping at home alone should have been the greatest gift to an over-exhausted dad. Boy was I wrong. Magically, Sammy has literally altered my sleep rhythms. It was sheer joy to wake up each night at 3am and 5am…What has become of me!?!?
- 2 words: Sleep. Regression.
- Is there any greater fear than your kid being in a pool with other people and pooping our of his diaper? I think not….Thankfully (surprise!) Sammy kept up his part of the bargain.
- There is this thing with Sammy called “The evil Look of Doom.” It always happens when he’s travelling from one place to another while sleeping. He'll wake up without understanding how he got to this new place with a threatening look. It lasts for about 3 minutes before he’s willing to let you know that he does not appreciate these sudden surprises…be afraid…
- The regular every day things that happen to babies is definitely exacerbated when you’re not there. This update from Danielle sounded like a new world war had started…
o “He scratched his face and looks like a gangster, has a rash on his leg and I put stuff on his head to help with his cradle cap (dry skin on scalp – worst name a a “thing” ever) and forgot to wash it off so he smells terrible. Also, he freaked out every time we tried to give him a bath so he's only sort of been washed.”
UMMMM…..yeah.
- I’m getting old moment of the week: When someone says “let’s meet up at 11pm on Saturday night” and my reaction is “dear lord…that’s so late!”
- Things we have tried to combat sleep regression unsuccessfully
o Get rid of woombie – use sleep sack
o Get ris of sleep sack – back to woombie
o Woombie with no hands in
o Dream feed 2 ounces
o Dream feed 5 ounces
o Crying (us) – this did not help
o The rollover (only helps to get him back to sleep)
o Crying again. HELP!
Quotes of the week:
o “Don't worry, if he poops I'll get in the pool and do it too. People will care less about Sammy then...” - Random Gentleman at pool party
o “Do you think we can change the sheets so that I don't have to sleep in poo.” - Danielle
Important Statistics we are tracking:
- Number of baths this week: 1 (sorry little dude!)
- Number of true poo-namis: 3 (haven’t we gotten past this yet???)
- Number of other people’s couch’s peed on while away from home: 2 (whoops!)
- Number of times Danielle started a sentence with “ I think we should try _______” (in reference to our battle with leep regression): at least once per day
- Number of articles read on sleep regression: too many to count
- Number of times I proved Danielle wrong on a sleep issue : 1 (thanks Kristine!) The score is now Danielle 55, vs. Josh 1
Things we googled this week:
- “Baby Sleep Regression 4 months”
o Now I am sad to say that when we googled this, and I had only typed in “baby sleep regression” the most popular searches recommended were in order: 4 months, 3 months, 8 months, 9 months. This translates to BAD NEWS.
- “dream feed baby ounces”
- “Dream feed baby burp”
Pictures for your amusement:
 |
| Taking in the sites and sounds of a plane ride. Or not.... |
 |
| It's not looking great for Sammy being a willing bed sharer later on in life. |
 |
| The calm before the "check in line storm" |
 |
| First plane ride! |
 |
| Everyone needs some Naked baby photos |
 |
| If you look closely, this bouncy chair makes it look like Sammy is wearing a lamb head hat - ears and all! Bizarre.... |
 |
| Making out with his whoozit toy. This is love! |
 |
| How to nap at a pool party. The only problem with this is that when other, more mobile kids see a pair of baby feet sticking out, they think it's an invite to grab them. |
 |
| More from the ride home. This is pre-poonami on the landing.... |
 |
| I might not find a blanket with some tags on it interesting - but Sammy....never ending amusement. It's not quite like trying to get his feet in his mouth though.... |
 |
| Hanging out in Cinci with Granpa Steve |
Some videos for your amusement:
Sammy laughing at some funny noises
Sammy playing peekaboo
No comments:
Post a Comment