Documentation of fatherhood insanity: September 2012

Things I have learned

You want to see a proud and excited parent? I wish I had a picture of myself when I saw Sammy running around yelling “Hockey hockey!” He then hit a block with the hockey stick. 3 months – he’s on skates. Mark my words…

There was one day when Sammy decided to wake up at 7:45. 7:45!!!! Being as smart as I am, that was the day that I tried to outsmart him by getting up at 6:45 to shower before he woke up. Yeah. I did that. Crap.

We are learning to count. So far we’ve started at: “oooooooone , 5, 9”

It’s interesting that Sammy is speaking a little Spanglish: our counting efforts have resulted in some interesting improvements. Now he says: “ooooooone, dooooos, treeeeee”

Houston – we have a climber. Sammy has clearly mastered the idea of getting up onto things – He’ll climb onto the couch, the ottoman, run up slides, climb stairs. 90% of the time he’s figured out how to scoot down. I’m only mildly concerned about the other 10% where he sticks out his head to ponder his daredevil options.

Captain Destructo Moment of the Week: Sammy broke into the pantry, took out a tub of Nesquik and proceeded to pour it all over the floor.

How to make a mother unhappy: See above.

Explanatory Note: The next bits are about Aunty Monica and Uncle Rob's wedding two weeks ago in Cincinnati

The definition of irrational can be seen in the following example:

In an attempt to pacify a totally energized and manic Sammy during Aunty Monica's wedding, I somehow ended up giving him two containers of Cheerios. Only problem: if you are trying to eat cheerios but holding two containers you can’t really eat much of anything. Of course, when I tried to take one away to help him – freak out. He ended up sleeping with those two cheerios containers. I guess it's the principal?

Sammy looked uber cool in his uber suave baby suit. It only took 2 hours for his uber suit to be uber ruined. Now it needs to be uber washed.

Tired. That’s what you are while chasing after a one year old during a cocktail hour in a large open space with many pitfalls and things to knock over. As you run by, sweating in your tux, everyone will smile giddily and say “He’s Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo adorable." I smiled and ran on all the while withholding my internal plea for heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!

Massive confusion part 1: First, he called our friend Bobby “Bobby” (see past blog posts). Then, he began to call his new Uncle Rob “Bobby”. Well, there was a collision of worlds when we were staying at Bubby Bobbi’s house for the wedding in Cincinnati - with Uncle Rob. He said “Bobby” so many times he’s worn the word out. And now no one knows who he is referring to.

Massive confusion part 2: Sammy adores his Savtah (grandmother). But can you picture his confusion when we went to brunch with his Aunt Sarah (Savtah's twin sister)? I can only imagine what was running through his brain...

What happens when you spin your child around repeatedly on an office chair and then let him walk? That was rhetorical. What happens is what you would expect. Trust me it’s funny.

Things I am dreading: the fact that I can no longer watch Sunday football. When is Sammy old enough to start rooting for the Giants?

I'm worried for what will happen when, one day, Samson gets his own phone. He's really into chatting on it. At the moment, he will run around picking up every possible object (examples: remote, wire, paper) as well as real phones - and will hold them up to his ear saying "hi!" and "b-bye!" There's a big bill in our future - I can see it now.

Sammy is kind of like a car with no brakes.

Top new words of the week (we have some themes):

Friends:

Johnny

Hannah

Naama

“enia” (kenia)

Lea

Food:

Apple sauce

Eggs

Yummy

Eat

Other:

Boom!

Dance!

Up! Uppy! Up!

Pictures (and videos) for your amusement:

Sammy is afraid of no one....Least of all a giant dog. Megan/Hans/Claire/Caitlin - Thanks for babysitting!!

Sammy's business stops for no one. He doesn't care whether someone is on the other end of the line.

Sammy getting prepped for the wedding with Bubby Bobbi

A moment of reprieve during cocktail hour - overlooking Cincinnati at dusk.

Maybe he'll be "The Whiz!"

The Arcade: mind blowing for little ones.

It's all fun and games until someone (Samson) decides to BE the skee-ball. Luckily Aunt Rochelle and Uncle Steve were there to roll him up the ramp.

Pants-less fun at the outdoor mall in Columbus

Mass confusion - there are two Savtahs! (and a Sabbah rabba - great grandfather)

Samson will not sit still on someone's for anyone or anything. Except maybe chocolate Cold Stone ice Cream. Maybe the discussion explained in the next picture was due to all the sugar.

"Grandpa Steve: Here's what's going to happen. I am going to spend the next two hours running in circles around the main floor of the house. Don't try to stop me. This is not a negotiation." And so he did....