Week 2

Things I have learned:

1.       That I can be torpedoed by more than just pee. And poo (which came as a bit of a shock).

2.       Samson, if he has an upset stomach (or is not burped enough) can puke out of his co-sleeper all over me giving new meaning to the word projectile. Don’t worry. This only happened once. Ok twice. But it happened once when I was wearing a shirt and once when I was not.

3.       When your son shoots out of his crib like he’s in the excorcist to puke on you, it’s going to be a long afternoon.

4.       I will still like Samson even though last Wednesday he had the following stat line:

a.       Average Pees on Dad/hour: 0.75

b.      Puke + Pee on dad combo: 1

5.       They sell just about everything at Buy Buy Baby. Including something called the Pee Pee Teepee (see below). This made me happy and was worth a ½ hour drive.

6.       The term : “Pooper Soaker”

Poo-per Soak-er

      1.      –noun

Usually, a surprise shooting poo that occurs once a diaper is removed. Said poo mimics its namesake, the Super Soaker.

7.       Similar to my learning with the pee, you cannot stop a pooper-soaker (nor should you try to) with your hand. And yes, it was gross.

Important statistics we are tracking:

1.       Number of times I have been peed on: I had to stop counting. I’m banking on the makers of pee pee teepee that they have a good product.

2.       Number of calls to the moyal since the bris: 4 (The rabbi and I have become fast friends)

3.       Consecutive days doing laundry: 5. Seriously. 5.

4.    Percent increase in grey beard hair: 50%. easily.

Things I googled last week:

1.       “Newborn peeing not pooing” – Don’t worry. This was resolved quickly.

2.       “Newborn projectile vomit” – also resolved

3.       “Squeaking sleeping Newborn” 

Pictures for your amusement:

Things can get really goofy at 4am feedings. Like trying on your son's baby hats.

Uncle shai came to visit and had some fun experiences. this was the text he sent out that afternoon...

The stein lower lip in action.

Is this even possible? Thank you diaper Genie

Samson gets a mani - translation: mom and dad want nothing to do with nail scissors.

My savior. Poo-nami 2? or another yawn. maybe both. at once.