Week 3/4

Things I have learned:

1.       My wife thinks it's cute when she puts on Samson's pantalones gorditos so he constantly looks like MC hammer.

2.      I officially want to Kick Harvey Karp, the guy in the “Happiest Baby on the Block” movie Danielle made me watch. Really – how come everything this guy (who looks like a 70s ____star) recommends seems to be exactly what Samson hates?

3.       My son has enough Michigan State gear to dress the entire MSU cheerleading squad. Assuming they wanted to wear onesies and baby shoes. Which could be neat.

4.       I now run for the baby whisperer even though I think she is a bit of a jackass.

5.       Samson has 5 identifiable moods:

a.       I just pooped and I’m happy.

b.      I haven’t pooped in a while and I’m unhappy – Mom, please eat some prunes.

c.       I want the boob.

d.      I’ve got the boob and now I’m happy.

e.      Dad, I think it’s time you experienced me being cranky for no reason. Welcome home.

6.       We have become so attentive to Samson’s pooping schedule that Danielle literally sent me an email while I was at work with a picture of a poo-nami’d diaper. And we were both ecstatic.

7.       OK – I take back my happiest baby on the block comment. Maybe, sometimes, he knows what he’s talking about. Damn you Harvey Karp.

8.       When I pick up Samson, he seems to like it when I give him affectionate nick names. My favorites are taking wrestlers from the eighties and referring to him in a baby voice. Examples: “Hello little….

a.       Junkyard Dog

b.      Ultimate Warrior

c.       Hacksaw Jim Duggan

d.      (my favorite) Iron Sheik

Maybe this is more for my amusement than his, but I'm convinced he enjoys it.

9.   As Samson’s eyes begin to focus, it is glaringly apparent when he’s annoyed with me: i.e. “pleasedo notpickmeupwhileI’mtryingtoconcentrateonpooping” or “seriously–stopvideotapingmewhile I’mtryingtopoopbecauseyouthinkit’sfunny.thisisnotajoke.”

Why, you might ask do I think he talks without any spaces between his words? I just do…

10.   It’s funny to make your friends change diapers (good job, Dani)

11.  The term : “Bart”

Bart

      1.      –noun

Usually, a combined burp and fart. As in: Samson barted earlier today. And it was glorious.

12.   Pee in the bath. Check. Poop in the bath. Check, Check.

 

Important statistics we are tracking: 

1. # of times I tried to communicate to Sammy while crying by saying “wah”: 2. And yes, he was annoyed both times.  

2. # of barts in one feeding: 3

3. # of Dirty diapers we made Dani change: 1 (but the mess counts as more like 2-3)

Things I googled last week:

1.       “Newborn not burping after breastfeeding”

2.       “Effect of no R.E.M. sleep on adults" - I googled this after putting the orange juice back into the cupboard one morning before work.

3. "Newborn constipation"

Pictures for your amusement:

  Practicing to be a nun?

Samson's humidifier. I think it looks like a drug dealing penguin.

Blue Steel. You know what that means,

Par for the course after work.

There are some things that I imagine adults think are really cute but baby's think are just ridiculous. Such as hats.

Harvey Karp. Arch Nemesis.