Documentation of fatherhood insanity: And then there were two: Chalupah Robin becomes Lily Elior!

I'm interrupting regular (semi-regular) blogging to bring you the account of of how Chalupah Robin (nick name for the baby) was born and became Lillian Elior.

Normally I would have had time to wax poetic (like when I wrote the first one all those years ago) but as you will see....this was slightly different.

For context - Due date was August 14th with a planned C august 15th. The following occurred between 2am last night and 10:30 this morning (insert Law and Order sound effects):

9:00pm (Friday): Danielle tells josh she feels pelvic pressure. Josh freaks out. Danielle claims its nothing big.

2:00am: josh wakes up and Danielle mentions having some pain. We both went back to sleep

4:45am. Josh rolls over to find Danielle doing yoga on all fours. Josh asks Danielle whether they Should go to the hospital. Danielle says its no big deal.

6:45am: josh finds Danielle downstairs and learns that she is having regular contractions.

6:50am: Danielle calls the doctor to find out what to do.

7:30am: with no call back from the doctor, Danielle goes to take a shower

7:45am: still no call back, contractions worsening. Danielle gets her hair done by Carrie and robin. Josh showers (for those that know me, this pretty much epitomizes my sense of timing). It should be noted that I did not plan to shower but it was suggested to me.

8:15am: still no call back. Decision is made to get on the road.

8:20am: while saying good bye to Samson Danielle requests a picture of the 3 of us.

8:35am. Still no call back, contractions getting worse. We pull out of the driveway

8:45am: Danielle complains to josh that he is not driving fast enough. Then she has a cursing fit during a contraction. then she complains that I am slow (I am)

8:50am: Doctor finally calls. Non chalantly says "yeah, you should probably come in). Following the call Danielle says: "I think I'm ready for the epidural" (my inner monologue: oh shit oh shit oh shit. what if we don't get there in time?)

9:00am: Driving 85mph down i87 while Danielle's contractions now 3-4 minutes apart. Danielle says: "What if this is only indigestion? I'd feel really bad that we made your parents drive down.

9:02: josh says "ummm...what are we going to name her?"

9:18am: We agree on the name after months of debate.

9:30am. Drop Danielle at front door. I ask if she wants a wheelchair. She says no. then she nearly keels over on the curb.

9:31am: Danielle is wheeled in

9:40am: Danielle is examined. She is 9cm dilated and the doctors look at me and ask how on earth she made it this far.

9:42am: Josh's fingers crushed during Danielle contraction.

9:45am: After a quick exam and lots of screaming, they brought Danielle to the delivery room. I casually (and secretly) asked the nurses if Danielle's desperate plea for an epidural would be answered. they told me that they expected this baby to be out before we even got around to it.

10:00am Danielle is now pushing. they can see the baby!

Nurse: "you're almost done! You can see the head!"

Danielle:"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! F*#@%&#@%*%! i'M SO FAR FROM BEING DONE!

Nurse: Do you want to touch the head?

Josh: Look of confusion - she's pushing this thing out of her __________ and you want her to touch the head????

Danielle: NO I DO NOT WANT TO TOUCH THE HEAD! I WANT THIS BABY OUT

10:10am: Holy crap. I'm below the equator. I always thought of myself as an above the equator. But this is insane.

10:19am: I now know why I always thought I was an above the equator guy. Kidding....that was simply amazing.

10:20am: CHALUPA ROBIN (don't ask) IS OUT!!!!!

10:22am:

Nurse: dad, cut the umbilical cord.

Josh: oh, you can do it