Week 22: First wedding

Things I have learned:

We make a lot of funny sounds that get Sammy to laugh (is there anything better?). Someone raised a great question: How is it that we discover the sounds that work? Answer: I am a strange person.

Proven for a second time. Hell hath no fury like a scorned child. in traffic. Again. Did I mention again? I hate the GW bridge and everyone driving on it.

Dear Samson, remember when you were screaming in the car for 20 minutes? Then when you got home started smiling as if nothing ever happened? Because I do.

That show Up All Night? Yeah – that stopped being realistic after episode 1.

We are taking suggestions for the award that Sammy is going to get for not wrecking his fancy clothes at the wedding we attended last weekend.

It was love at first site with his new friend the stuffed animal bunny.  Nevermind parents, nanny, etc… Life is now all about the bunny.

1.       The term : “Feating”

Feet-ing

          –verb

To Feat. Usually, when a small child fake-eats so that mom will feed him before bed (thereby keeping him up past bedtime.)

Example: “Danielle, I’m pretty sure that Samson is feating again. This kid is a real con artist!”

I swear I started hearing crying babies even when Sammy is sleeping. This is like Tinitis, only worse. Who do you see about that?

It is very hard to take nice family photos when all your son wants to do is stare at your wife’s boobs or look the opposite way. Really? Why must you spite us Samson??? Just one picture in your non-ruined fancy clothes is all we ask!

How much time do you think parents spend doing the following: You find something silly that makes your baby laugh (ex: making a high pitched sound repeatedly seems to work this week, gurgling worked a few weeks back, etc…) Then you try to catch it on film which then results in a long video where you can’t understand why your child is not laughing but you are caught on camera making weird noises.

Danielle started making that high pitched sound in public – which just looked disturbing and bizarre.

It is always going to smell like poop in Sammy’s room, isn’t it? Because it does….

I may have said this before, but why do I like baby TV ads so much!?!  I laugh out loud. Seriously, I intently watched a Clorox ad in which 2 dads smell their babies’ butts and thought it was hilarious. Let’s not even start on the Huggies/Pampers TV ads that have their kids scooting across the floor.

Few things scare me like the idea of solid food. Which is starting this week.  Though it should be interesting watching a person learn how to eat. I’m just concerned that what goes in must come out. And it won’t be pretty.

Anonymous quote of the week:

“I fell asleep with [insert baby’s name]  in my arms and when I woke up I realized I’d drooled all over [insert baby's name again].” 

Score one for parents everywhere!

Important Statistics we are Tracking:

Number of times Sammy spat up on me while I was just about out the door on my way to work: 1

Number of times Sammy pooped his pants during a wedding ceremony: 1 (he was just so happy!)

Number of times Sammy pooped out of his PJ’s in the morning: 0. Yes, your read that right. ZERO. NIL. NADA. NOT ONCE!

Weight percentile: 90th

Height Percentile: 95th

Head size: 50th (43 cm!)

Things we Googled last week:

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      Baby sleep with blanket age (I was concerned!)

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            Baby eating after spitting up. Translation: How is it possible? Isn’t he full?

     Pictures for your amusement:

Gotta look tough in the play ground

Mama said knock you out

How to rock out at a wedding

Looking good!

Sammy, meet cold weather.

I had to apologize to the rubber ducky after Sammy tried to chew his head off. This did not end pretty.

Trying to break the record for most things put in one's mouth in 1 afternoon.

Practicing sitting up, like a big boy!

Most babies try to play with iphones  - Samson tried to eat mine. If you see this face, watch out. He's trying to put you in his mouth.

I love Sundays.

Look at me! I'm 5 months old!

Pre-wedding ceremony accident

Trying to take family picture is hard when one of the group only cares about boobs. I'll give you a hint, it's not Me. It's also not Danielle.

Question: How many pictures can you take without Sammy looking at the camera. Answer: All of them.