Documentation of fatherhood insanity: Weeks 29 - 30: The changing table revolution begins...

Things I have learned over the 2 ½ week blog hiatus:

The Changing table revolt is under way. My friend Samson has settled on a few things:

His legs are now strong enough to kick out of any hold that Danielle and I might have him in while “cleaning” him. He exercises this right frequently despite my explanation that one wrong move will require a thorough cleansing and potentially a bath mixed with Ajax.
It is fun to put his left leg on the wall to push off, thereby sliding the changing pad and causing his parents to freak out.
Samson will continue to lead the changing table revolution for as long as it takes.

Samson is like a crime fighter – except that instead of crime he is busy fighting sleep with everything he’s got, one nap at a time. What’s the big deal about nap time? He has no problem going to bed at night but the day….

Things I never thought could end ok – having your child up for 8 hours straight. Somehow Samson managed hold it together and to actually be in a good mood. I do not think this is a coincidence. This is a child trying to strategically prove that he doesn’t need to nap. I mean, come on…

1. The term : “Fomo”

Fö-Mö

1. –noun

Usually, the fear of missing out

Example: I’m pretty sure Sammy has massive daytime Fomo – That must be why he hates taking naps!

Yes, it’s fair to say that I am scared of the big boy car seat. The big boy car seat should not have come into play this soon but given Sammy’s insane height we’re here early. What this means: Limited to no sleeping after a car ride. In the past we’d just take out the car seat so the little guy could continue napping

Sammy loves football – but he is learning what it’s like to be a Giants fan. He got so anxious and excited during the 4^th quarter comeback vs. the Patriots that he threw up all over me. I was close to throwing up but I need to set an example.

What does it mean that Sammy wakes up from his nap the instant our nanny leaves everyday. How the heck can he figure that out? To me this is just further evidence that he’s a Jedi.

Sammy has a tough side to him. For weeks now, when he’s playing with older and more advanced pal Baby Owen, he’s been the recipient of some mild baby on baby violence (Owen keeps wanting to sit on Sammy). Well, Sammy finally had enough and decided to fight back. By licking Owen and trying to eat his head.

In other efforts to prove he’s tough – Sammy has decided that it would be good to scratch his face until it looks like he’s been in a bar fight. Despite cutting his nails insanely frequently (ok, our nanny cuts them) he has managed to find a way to make his face bleed every day. This is either a) madness or b) toughness. I’m telling you…don’t mess with this guy!

Just when you think you know something moment of the week: I come home one day and all of a sudden, Sammy just wants to play on the floor. No more “pick me up! Pick me up!” – Now when I pick him up he just squirms. Of course, two days later things went back to normal.

What does it say when our nanny has not only trained us but also my mother? She’s good….

On a scale of 1 to 10, it’s a 10. What’s the scale you ask? Oh…ummm….the scale of how bad I feel when playing on the floor with Samson and I fart (he’s at a much lower level than me!)

The definition of being caught between a rock in a hard place is when you walk into your child’s room at midnight and smell poop. UGH.

Video Skype is awesome but it’s no substitute for the real thing. Learned this the hard way last week in LA!

Worse things have happened than having your wife work on getting Sammy back to sleeping until 6:30am while you are out of town. To be fair, there’s no way she accomplishes that task if her weak husband had been home (Yes, I know I'm weak and I'm ok with it).

New weird thing that is happening:

All of a sudden, Samson loves to jump. All the time. Now when he’s practicing standing (read: we’re helping him stand) he just bounces endlessly. Did I say endlessly?

Awesome website that you should see and that I wish I thought of (credit to Shawn for finding this one): http://www.studioarthur.co.uk/

Important statistics we are tracking:

- Number of days I was away from Samson during week 29: 5 (and it sucked!)

- Number of times we had to call Savtah (grandma) to come babysit because Danielle and I both had to be out of town the same day: 1 (THANK YOU!)

Many Pictures for your amusement:

Sammy has more friends than I do. I have no clue who this is...

Loving the swings

At first glance this picture is cute. Then you start to think about the new "big boy" car seat that will require me to wake up my napping child to bring him inside. I actually took a 15 minute detour to give our little anti-napper more nap time.