Week 28: Beware: Daylight savings is coming...

Things I have learned:

I’m not sure it’s fair to say this, but I’m going to anyway. For years, I have been called the “slowest Kroo”. Specifically by my wife and, well, everyone else.  Now I’m hear to declare that Sammy is going to take that mantle from me. He is WAY slower than I am.  He’s a real primadonna when it comes to getting ready. Example: I have to put on his pants, socks, shirt, and everything else, really.

Ok, so I noticed last night that I had not even seen the pacifier in over a week. It then came to our attention that our nanny hid the pacifiers from us!!!! Seriously. So this means two things:

              1.       It was us, not Sammy that had to go cold turkey on the pacifier at 6 months.

              2.       When I did finally find it and try to use it to calm Sammy down in the middle of the night last night – it was completely ineffective.

I have officially been weaned.

Who is the bigger child in this story? Danielle came home with a giant box of animal crackers from Trader Joe’s the other day. When I asked what could have possessed her to buy them (Sammy can’t eat them and I might not have had one in 15 years) she responded “Sammy really wanted them! He was going nuts for them in the store!” I’m not sure what to make of this since I’m pretty certain Sammy has no clue what and animal cracker is, though I suppose he might have liked the box. Now I’m eating some really bland animal crackers everyday and loving them.

Last week I mentioned that Halloween is truly about the parents. After experiencing it first hand, it is unbelievably true. If it were up to me, I would have Sammy wear his Yoda costume every day. In fact, I hope he goes through one of those kid phases where he wants to wear the same thing everyday – and I hope he chooses Yoda.

Halloween for me was like one of those people who like to celebrate their birthday 10 different times surrounding the actual day. By that I mean, that we had Sammy wearing his awesome Yoda outfit for several days – because why not!?! He looked so damn cute!

I think it’s built into babies that they always need to keep you on your toes. There is no such thing as a groove. Sammy has now started to wake up at 10pm and 3am for no real reason. Unless it’s the ever-coming teeth. In which case, let’s get this show on the road! We’re ready. Enough with the false alarms. BRING IT.

I love watching Sammy feed himself a bottle. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to use “the force” to feed himself. After a little while of holding the bottle to his mouth, he will slowly pull off one hand – he’d rather hold it right next to the bottle and looks at it versus using it to hold the bottle. Then, hand number 2 will come off to see if he can use the force to hold it. This usually ends in my having to pick up the bottle to feed him. I’m not giving up on Yoda just yet.

List of things that are officially not fun:

             1.       Trying prevent your son from meeting a giant snowstorm head on. This generally involved  my taking it on yourself...and my sitting in wet jeans for an entire day.

It is not the least bit ironic that of all the things to be afraid of right now, like natural disasters, the recession, and an Adam Sandler movie in which he actually plays his twin female sister opposite himself – I am most afraid of: DAYLIGHT SAVINGS. HELP!

New food of the week: Peaches. Mmmmmmmm….millions of peaches.

I might be obsessing – Is it crossing the line if I make the Yoda hat Sammy’s winter hat?

I really enjoyed being up from 3:15am on Friday night until 5am with a screaming child. Words cannot describe how grateful I am for that experience.

I’m not taking it personally (I don’t think), But this morning when Sammy was half asleep in the bed with Danielle and I (the end of our 2 hour ordeal) – He flailed his arms so hard that he slapped both of us in the face (I’m talking full on, open-handed slaps) and then sat their giggling playing with his hands. Come on, man!

I am by nature a tenacious person. I will not give up in trying to deter Sammy from sucking his thumb all the time. Sammy is also a tenacious person. Therein lies the conflict. I could literally spend all day pulling his hand out of his mouth. And he is more than happy to pretend like it never happened and will jam his thumb back in immediately.

Statistics we are keeping track of:

       -          Number of days spent wearing Yoda costume: 3

       

       -          Number of days spent wearing Yoda hat: 5

       -          Number of times I tried to tell Sammy that eating his carrots will help his eyesight: 2 (it did not have a lasting impact

       - Number of times in a one minute span that I pulled a thumb out of Sammy's mouth only to have in put it back in: 7

Things we googled:

       -          “colic at 6 months” (that’s how rare last night’s cry fest was

       -          “Soothe a teething child at night” (I was desperate)

      Pictures for your amusement:

After last week's criticism that I am not handy enough with tools, I sat down for a lesson from the master.

Ben offers Samson some friendly encouragement

Yoda: Day one - Public library scary story reading

Yoda and The Owen-tiger

Sammy doesn't have to read books - he absorbs knowledge through the force

Hello Winter hat.

For those that remember, this is Sammy's Sprockets outfit

We've come a long way from the original bath time reaction... (see below)

This was after all the yelling of bath time was worked out....

Yoda: Day 3 - The Halloween party

New level of laziness - no longer intersted in holding up his head, Sammy figured out that he could rest it on this.

Mmmmmm....Dinner. 1 cube peas, 1 cube mango.

Yoda: Day 4 - no real reason.

Poor Giraffe

This show continues to taunt me. Does that Exersaucer look familiar? (or maybe everyone has that one?)

Preparing to release his hands and to hold his bottle using only the force

                 An Example of Sammy's tenacity: never give up on sucking the thumb:

Week 27: Mr. Samson Goes to Washington

Things I have learned:

Sammy figured out how to stay sitting up on his own. He can do this for extremely long periods of time.

We are proud and it’s amazing to watch. The problem: He’s so excited about sitting that any urge to stand or crawl has gone out the window.

While sitting, he likes to sit and play with his tool bench toy – this includes a fake electric saw, drill, screw driver – all sorts of great stuff. Two thoughts:

1)      The constant sound of a fake electric saw is not annoying at all.

2)      Danielle seems to think that Sammy is already more handy than me with tools. She's right.

We had a great weekend in DC with all the other babies. But what have things come to when you hear a cry and someone says “is that mine? Or yours?”

Things you never want to be googling: The affects of food poisoning on breast feeding. Sidenote: when making a cake, try not to use icing that expired in 2008. Just a suggestion.

Overheard this week:

Danielle (to Sammy):  “Are you actually eating or just hanging out? I don't come to your kitchen  and just horse around do I?”

Sammy: bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

           ...maybe we need a no loitering sign 

Maybe Sammy will end up being a martial artist -  His new thing is to practice his kicks and splits while feeding. While he’s eating he’s regularly  “keating” – kick-eating. It’s truly hilarious to watch. Just mind your eyes – you might get kicked!

1.       The term : “ Jiggle Butt”

Jigg-le Butt

      1.      –verb – to Jiggle Butt 

Usually, the action of jiggling your child’s entire body by placing a hand on their butt and jiggling while they’re trying to fall asleep. Often replaces typical rubbing of back.

So we took Sammy to pick pumpkins. I’m pretty certain – no, 100% certain he was more interested in grabbing hay and stuffing it in his mouth than actually choosing a pumpkin. There’s a reason why we did not take him into where the animals were walking around - there's more than just hay on the ground there.

So when your child literally scratches his face so badly while sleeping that it looks like he’s in a bar fight – am I allowed to put up a sign that says “hey – I asked him not to claw at his face but….”

There's a new policy that Sammy implemented now that he’s eating solid food. It’s a one in / one out policy. It happens at the same time. While I appreciate his love of symmetry in life…. I don’t know if this is going to work for us long term

So we’re agreed then – Halloween is purely for the parents, yes? Just saying. Samson was not clamoring for his costume  - though it looked AMAZING (to be revealed next week…..ohhhhhh – suspense!)

New food of the week: eggs! And they were well-liked immediately (this is my child after all).

Important Statistics we are tracking:

-  Number of times Sammy has worn his Halloween costume before it's eve Halloween: 1

- % of the freezer that is now "owned" by Sammy's stuff: easily 50%

- Number of hours it took to drive back from DC to NY: 7 (+3 vs. the norm)

- Number of times I said the "Shema" (Jewish prayer) while stopped in 40 minutes of GW bridge traffic: Hard to count - it was pretty much non-stop

- Number of times Sammy was bleeding and spitting up at the same time: 1 (he picked a scab and then decided he ate too much carrots

Things we googled:

- "Food poisoning and breast feeding"

- "6 month sleep regression"  - noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Pictures for your amusement:

By Request: Photographic evidence from a few months back that Sammy got a girl's top off - Kidding :) - He's just hanging with pal Ronnie.

On first glance you might think this picture is cute (awwwww...look at the hat!). But....

...Upon closer inspection this happy child just spat up all over himself and me!

Sammy chilling on the floor with Friend Caleigh

This picture just blows my mind. How did this happen!?!

The good news is that Sammy does not discriminate with his spit-up targets. He likes everyone!

It's logical that he'd try to chew my hair and pull off my glasses at once.

Dancing in the streets!

This would not be the first time someone wearing a Michigan shirt looked somewhat  fearful of someone wearing a Michigan State shirt.

"I love shoving hay in my mouth!"

Gotta dress the part when picking pumpkins

Sammy only travels in style...nothing but the best vehicles

That is laughter you see from Sammy. And the vest Danielle is wearing belonged to my mom in the 70's. Just saying.

Looking very moustachio'ed after some carrots.

Milestone! Sitting in a high chair at brunch.

EggsEggsEggsEggsEggsEggsEggsEggsEggsEggsEggsEggsEggsEggs.

Swinging with pal Nora

The handyman

Some video:

Sammy tries eggs for the first time:

Sammy plays with tools!

Week 26: Milk Hoarder!

Things I have learned:

On our trip to the Bronx botanical gardens Sammy’s obsession with plants seems to indicate he might be interested in botany. So says Danielle. Really, if you dig deeper into the psychology behind Sammy’s actions we notice something else. He stares at plants, curious and inquisitive. Then he grabs them (presumably to feel the texture). Then he tries to eat them. Yeah, it all links back to “what can I put in my mouth today?” Botany? More like “I-like-to-put-everything-in-my-mouth-any”.

I’ve noticed that more often than not, Sammy will always look left. If this continues, does it mean he will Walks in circles to the left for the rest of his life?

Have you ever seen that show hoarders? Well, what I’m about to say next has no relation to that show. But it does have to do with hoarding.  Specifically, milk hoarding. I was talking to Sammy about how squirrels keep nuts in their cheeks and hoard them for the winter – and it donned on me. Sammy is a milk hoarder. He’s constantly hoarding milk in his cheeks for a later date – like the squirrels. Our son is a milk hoarder…now what??

I feel like I’m about to have to explain to Danielle why Sammy can’t move into our bed permanently. He sleeps….like a bay when he’s in it!

So after having Sammy to ourselves and his grandparents (sans nanny) for 5 days we had a real job to defend ourselves to her when she came back – I swear, we tried our best to listen to the instructions!!! We didn’t undo ALL the work! Did we?

We are super proud of Sammy for his newfound ability to stay sitting up and playing without our constant support. However, there is one thing he has not grasped yet: Sometimes the ceiling (he really loves lights, ceilings, fans, hanging plants – anything high up) will catch his eye – and he will forget that he’s sitting, look up, up, up and just keep looking up and leaning back until he falls back and hits his head. We’ll get there son, we’ll get there…

We have successfully weaned Sammy off the pacifier with no meaningful consequences except one:

1.       The term : “Thumb Junkie”

Th-um Ju-nk-ie

      1.      –noun

Usually, a child that has developed a sudden attachment to jamming his thumb in his mouth. Thumb junkies look at you innocently to after you remove it – effectively denying the fact that the thumb was in the mouth. And then when you turn away, it’s right back in.

Despite my trying to communicate to Samson that he has a choice: his thumb (and therefore braces) or summer camp – he has not yet grasped this pivotal choice in the road that he must travel.

Do you know how much time do we spend looking at our sleeping kids thinking and talking about how cute they are? Lots. It’s only mildly creepy to think my parents might have spent inordinate amounts of time watching me sleep. Unless I wasn’t cute. In which case, then they didn’t watch me much.

I find that when you call the doctor, they always have some way of making your question seem silly. Here was a call from last week:

Josh: Hi Dr. ______. Sammy has had a crazy runny nose that just won’t stop.

Dr. : Does he have a fever?

Josh: No. But he’s also developed some kind of weird rash in the last couple days?

Dr. : Does it seem to be bothering him?

Josh: Ummm…I guess not? He hasn’t told me one way or another.

Dr. : So. No fever. And not annoyed by the rash.

Josh: No.

Dr. : Yeah. He’s fine.

Josh: Ummm….ok then.

Sammy is very stringent on who he allows into his close circles. Admission goes something like this: “Does this person have boobs? yes? Perfect, she can be in my circle of friends. I’ll even add them to my circles on Google+!”

Anonymous parental quote of the week:

­­ 

_______ made a fluorescent green poop yesterday. I'm talking radioactive, glow in the dark, green.  Possible explanations: 

1. He sneaked out to a rave and ate the inside of a glow stick
2. Martians have colonized his intestines
3. I shouldn't have fed him the radioactive ooze I found in the hopes of turning him into a ninja turtle

Important statistics we are tracking:

      ·         Number of times I had to yell at Savtah (grandma) for picking Sammy up while we were (unsuccessfully) trying to get him to nap: 1

      ·         Number of times I had to eat my words after picking him up myself minutes later: 1

      ·         Number of Japanese plants Sammy mauled to shreds in the special Bronx botanical garden exhibit: 3 (please don’t tell!)

      ·         This month’s measurement! : 20lbs (90^th Percentile) , 28” (90^th Percentile)

Things we googled this week:

      ·         baby always looking left (see above)

      Pictures for your amusement:

This is what it's like when you try a food for the first time and were not expecting something new. Apparently pears will be an acquired taste.

The botanist...

What botany is really about - eating plants

Despite his head being in the 50th percentile for size, it is still smaller than mine it seems

I did not know that "stroller parking" existed. What world am I living in ?!?

Ok. Time to get him his own hat....

Tummy time. Not just for babies...

We are not ready for the real thing, so this will have to suffice for Sammy until he's 17.

You'd think there was batter on this spoon and not carrots...

Practicing his karate sidekicks.

More sidekicks! Good form sir....

Sitting up with Baby Owen

The boys at the Washington monument.

Week 25: A Little Solo Parenting

Things I have learned:

This week Sammy had 2 days of solo Dad time and 3 more of solo Mom time. I’d say HE survived if that was even a question. The real question is did WE survive? We did (I’m writing this)

Solo dad duty was great from a bonding sense. Not so great from a sleeping sense. Here was my neurotic schedule – and I say neurotic because there’s no reason for this: I would shoot out of bed at 5:30 to get the 6:30 bottle ready (no alarm, just my freakish circadian rhythms acting up.) Meanwhile, dreaming of Danielle (literally) giving Samson the bottle, he then wakes me up at 6:30 to feed him, at which point I’m up. So, yeah, I didn’t sleep much.

Sometimes I’m just flabbergasted by what’s happening to me. What does it say that I went to the park instead of watching the Giants game? Granted, The Giants game was a disaster and Sammy might not have been able to stare at the TV for too long, but I just felt insanely guilty keeping him inside on a gorgeous day. For context, I once refused to pick Danielle up from the airport because she was so “careless” to book her flight when the Gianst were playing. Oh how times have changed. I am weak, I know.

Sammy might be a Diet Coke addict in the making. He saw me drinking from a can and immediately associated it with his bottle (by clamoring for it). Should I be worried? Gavy (my sister for those that don’t know) was also a big fan as a baby – her first sentence was” I want Diet Coke!”)

Danielle and I can try to amuse Sammy all we want but it is apparently nothing compared to when he discovered himself in the mirror. He’s looked at himself in the mirror hundreds of times before – but last Sunday it was different. This time he seemed to think there was another baby. He would look away and then snap his head back to make sure his “friend” had not left – this cracked him up for a long time. Video evidence below.

Sometimes Sammy is difficult for no reason at all – for instance – I tried to put on a pair of sweat pants so he would not be cold outside. What is it with the sweat pants? What is so amusing about my getting one leg in, then while I’m getting leg two in, he pulls out leg one. Repeat. And repeat. And then….repeat. did I say repeat? Danielle says that I just have a lack of ‘skills’ in this area. Come on now...

Sammy holding his own bottle rocks. Except in the morning when he’s half asleep and mashes it into his face. While I found it funny I think he was annoyed.

My wife thinks that I’m “Monitor Obsessive.” She’s right.

But – that monitor obsessiveness netted me a great view of a true front to back rollover. He picked his butt up in the air and flat out propelled himself to his back, where he comfortably fell asleep. A great moment! Finally a conscious front to back rollover!

I really hate how contrived that damn show Up All Night is. Except that all the shit they show is true. Folding the stroller madness. Putting in the car seat base frustration. Damn them. My life is not that obvious is it!?!

On Tuesday we went into Sammy’s room and found him just lying there with his eyes open, curled up in a ball. Never having seen this before we grabbed him out of the crib and checked to make sure he was ok (read: he cried, so he was fine) Some googling helped to explain our idiocy - apparently babies sometimes sleep with their eyes open. When you boil it down, we were basically concerned and woke him up to hear him cry. Whoops.

Samson continues to explore the world through his mouth. I hope this trend changes when he’s older or things could get awkward. I’m envisioning that Seinfeld episode where George touches the material on someone’s jacket while in an elevator and gets yelled at. Except in my version Sammy puts it in his mouth.

Best commercial ever:  Luvs diapers ad featuring…..”Heavy DOOTY protection”. I’m not making that up. It’s basically cartoon kids taking huge deuces into their diapers on a stage and then being graded by a panel of Olympic style judges. I’m not making this up. Someone wrote and animated that. Video reference below.

What does it mean when we get stern warnings from our Nanny to not undo all her hard work that week while she’s away (read: pacifier rehab, nice nap schedule, etc….)? She’s SO right….we’re suckers…

Important statistics we are tracking:

-          Number of times Sammy tried to hug the ipad while I “face timed” with him: 2 (what did we do before all this amazing technology

-          Number of horrible, choppy, unsynchronized  bedtime songs Danielle and I tried to sing to Sammy while each of us was away: 4 (maybe it’s more for our own peace of mind)

-          Number of times Sammy went to Dinosaur BBQ: 1 (I don’t think he cared much though)

-          Number of times Sammy cried when the Giants blew their game last Sunday (We watched that horror on DVR): 1. And good for him.

-          Number of consecutive days Sammy ate peas, despite clearly deciding they sucked: 3 (but according to Danielle he’s getting used to them.

Things we googled:

-          "Babies sleeping with eyes open". Creepy.

Anonymous parental quote of the week:

“I have pretty much worn my wife down to letting me dress _____ up in Star Wars costumes. She’s too short for the ewok this year, but next year it’s on!”

 Pictures for your amusement:

Every once in a while it's hilarious to look back at where we've come from. Speechless....

World exploration through the mouth. And showing off incredible flexibility (that's his foot in his mouth) with Grandpa Steve

Having abandoned football for greener pastures, Sammy shows off some mad skills

Monitor-obsessing after the major rollover

Watching the tragedy that was last week's Giants game

Sammy made a trip to Dinosaur BBQ. The expression of utter fear on his face is due to the fact that we had yet to explain to him that people were not in fact eating real Dinosaurs.

The humor in this shot all depends on who you are.

A little walking practice (which ended up more like standing)

Sammy and the mirror

Hilarious Luvs Dooty ad