February and March 2013: Watch what you say!

Things I have learned:

If you ask for opinions you will get them. For example: what Shirt would you like to wear ended in no shirt because the desired Thomas the Train shirt was in the laundry.

When your child is being mean to one parent or another – maybe a little analytical thinking will help? For example, this was a conversation we had when Sammy was having an anti-mom moment:

Josh: do you love mommy?

Sammy: love mommy

Josh: can we be nice to mommy?

Sammy: nice to mommy

Josh: can we invite her back?

Sammy: mommy come

Danielle: hi Sammy

Sammy: hi mommy. Be nice to mommy.

We need a house. Why? Because I guess Sammy wants one?

Sammy: Wanna House.

Josh: You want a house?

Sammy: Wanna house please.

Josh: Do you want a big house?

Sammy: Yes.

Sammy is a little advanced for his age when it comes to the ladies.

Report number one: After bath time one day he ended up chasing Nora around (sans clothing) yelling: "Naked Sammy! Naked Sammy!" 

Report number two: Mr flirty, upon seeing a new little girl outside said: "Ooh! Who is that!?!"

Sammy has his own special way of hugging. It involves a slow walk where he leans in and waits for you to hug him.

We have learned the word "because". Still working on its proper use though. Good examples of how we are using this new word: "Because Daddy is jewish". "Because Mommy is sleeping."

The only problem is that there is no first part of the sentence.

We also learned about remorse: After writing on my pants with a crayon, I explained that we need to be careful and write on paper not pants. Instant crying ensued:

Josh: it's ok. You'll know for next time. It will come out

Sammy (tears streaming): I'm crying because...I'm crying.

Josh: it's ok

Sammy: I'm sad.

You have to love the honesty in kids:

Josh (to Danielle): how is he not sleeping yet!?!

Danielle: *frowny face*

Josh: Sammy, how are you not sleeping?!?

Sammy: not tired. 

Or:

"Sammy is screaming." Thanks for the update, pal.

Or:

Sammy: waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh

Kenia: Sammy, what are you doing?

Sammy: Sammy is whining

We have reached the wonderfully inquisitive phase of life. Sammy is like Johnny 5 from Short Circuit (the eighties movie – come on now!). He needs constant input. The following phrase is uttered almost every other minute: "What is this" "What is this" "what's this" what's this"

every parent's favorite expression is clearly: "Again" or "doitagain". This typically results in me being very tired from doing something (ex: tossing sammy in the air).

Sammy is now at the exact right length that I need to be careful when I'm holding him. I learned this the hard way with one swift leg kick of his. Can you say jockstrap?

I’m excited to report that while Sammy still has daredevil tendencies, he’s starting to understand the dangers of life. Upon peering over the top of a big slide:  "Kenia - it's too big."

Mr. Creative also loves to make up his own songs. Sometimes it’s just doo daahs and other sounds, but other times it’s very specific. Like when he wrote a new verse to the wheels on the bus that went: "Savtahs on the bus goes up and down, up and down, up and down". There nothing like hearing that at 5am when you are sharing a hotel room in Lake George by the way.

Samson is learning to fib. He woke up one morning and starts yelling  "I poopied!" Repeatedly. Naturally I jumped out of bed to go change him. i take off the diaper and ask him why there’s no poop. He then proceeded to crack up and laugh in my face for the next few minutes. Doh!

We have a little “Potty tease” living with us. Sammy regularly says:

Sammy: want to Potty

Danielle: You want to go Potty?

Sammy: Yes

Danielle: ok. Let’s go potty (together they head to the potty)

Danielle: Do you want to sit on it?

Sammy: nooooooooooo

Danielle: but you said you wanted to go potty

Sammy: No Potty

#$@%$#T$#TNM$#GF

Parental theorem number 407: No nap + cup of maple syrup (we were on a tour) = bad idea.

Sammy can occasionally be grateful. But he is selectively grateful. After devouring fresh pineapple all afternoon at aunt Shelly's house, on our way out he says to her: "thank you pineapple". Never mind the toys he got, etc....it's all about the food.

You have to watch what you are saying these days in our house:

Danielle (to josh): hey babe 

Josh: what's up?

Sammy: babe

Danielle: what did you just call daddy?

Sammy: babe

Danielle: hahahajahjaah

Sammy: daddy babe.

3 days later on FaceTime Sammy says babe to me.

New section: Quotables:

Now that Sammy is talking up a storm I’ll be including “quotables” hopefully you find them funny because these days we spend hours just laughing about the things he says

"Hallelujah. Take a nap."

"S is for Sammy"

I had the joy of waking up to: "daddy! Daddy! Josh! Josh! Josh! Daddy josh! Daddyjosh! Josh! Daddy! Daddydaddy! Josh."

"My name is Sam." Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!! You are still our little Sammy please!!

"Sabbah is in china."

“After I take a nap go Montreal”

Danielle: who lives in china?

Sammy: Chinese. Chinese. Chinesechinese.  Chinese.

Upon having some blocks put in front of him – he began to coach himself up: “Ok - I can do it”

First full sentence: "Mommy is giving daddy a hug"

“Sabbah made a mess.”

“Oh. I wanna go to Paris.”

“No way. No way!!”

“Oh my gosh”

“Oh my goodness”

Josh: What is Aunty rochelle’s last name?

Sammy: Rochelle ohmygosh


Many, many pictures for your amusement

Reading time with Danny. Danny said: "I know Sammy is reading but I'm not sure he really can since I'm 3 and I can't read yet."

BLUEBERRIES. BLUUUUUUUUEBERRIES!!!

Our house is kind of like day care. Sammy and his friends.

Trying to walk in the snow with Sabbah

Sammy is having fun. Savtah? How about you?

This was before the "It's cold as hell get me out of here" meltdown.

Building a snowman

Concentrating very hard in an attempt to eat the snow

Survival at brunch these days requires some good reading sessions

Look at this picture - how is he not even 2 years old!?!

Wild ride to the Norwalk aquarium with Kenia and Nora

That's a big turtle, man.

Amazing hat.

Mind. Blown.

Completing his dream weekend with Nora. Walking hand in hand at the Natural history Museum.

bathtub crayons. A good idea until you look and see your son with a blue crayon in his mouth that is disintegrating. shhhhhh. Don't tell Danielle.

the Swiffer is a genius invention. While giving him a broom results in pushing dirt around the house, this actually get's things clean!

Purim with pal Ben. Yes, I'm trying to get as much mielage out of that Jedi costume as possible.

With Naama in the park. Sammy is only slightly bigger.

When you are roomates in college, or working in a comic store together, you never really think that one day your friends will all have kids that hang out. Seen here is Shai with Samson, Naama and Caleigh. wild.

A hug for Caleigh. Of course it's a Sammy hug. notice him backing in to let Caleigh hug him.

Danny and Sammy hard at work o nthe computer

Speechless. Amazing.

Hi profession changes daily.

Uncle Rob can sing/play the same song 100 times in a row and it would still never be enough for Sammy.

Frozen yogurt sugar high. 

Teach a man to fish....

hallmark moment.

Our apartment looks like this at the end of most days. Scary. Scary (had to say it twice for emphasis.)

Savtah: the love affair. 

Ronnie likes to play in the fort. Sammy likes to destroy the fort.

Hyper-activity time with Ronnie

having foam blocks dropped on you is fun! 

time out for some literature.

Jamie and Samson enjoy some Passover food.

Gotta undo the tie to get some serious work done.

Two is better than one.

Sammy. Meet syrup. Pure syrup.

....30 minutes later.

Hanging with new love Aunty Jen and Aunty Rochelle ohmygosh

I borrowed Benji to prepare for the next phase in life.

Videos for your amusement

One of Samson's favorite activities: looking at pictures of animals on the computer with Sabbah and Savtah

Mayhem on the ride to the aquarium

Music stops for nothing. Least of all clothing.

November 2012 - January 2013: The Chatterbox

Ok, it's been 3 long months with no blog. We've been busy! So I'll do my best to catch up as much as possible. I'm sure I'm missing 90% of the awesome hilarious-ness that is our life with Sammy. But so be it.

Here goes...


Things I have learned....

...From November - December

In an ironic twist, whereas I used to call Samson just "Captain Destructo", I will henceforth refer to him as "Destructo the cleaner upper." He can obliterate a room in mere minutes. And at the end? He'll put 2 or 3 things away. yes, only two or three but I guess it's a start?

When life gives you lemons, eat them. At least that's what Sammy did at brunch. for reaction (which was AWESOME), see below.

Scream first, ask later. That's definitely our policy.

Pretty much the only way to get Samson to sit still while changing a diaper is to sing songs where you get to reference all the people he knows. I have literally recited the song "the more we get together" 1000 times. It's amazing that Samson might know more people than I do. I fear the day he loses interest. We have no back up plan! 

Well - we've started putting multiple words together. It goes something like:

"this is a _________"

- wowa

- baby

- book

- puff 

- etc...

I am the sucker in the house. Or at least I've proven to be the softie:

   Sammy: biiiiite

   Danielle: not now, you just finished eating

   Sammy: please. Bite

   Danielle: not right now, we just ate

   Sammy: daddy. Bite. Snack.

   Danielle: what does daddy give you?

   Sammy: blueberry!

Random statistics in December:

height: 50th percentile. For a 3 year old.

Weight: 50th percentile. For a 2 year old.

Height: Officially 36" - 3 ft (otherwise known as more than half of Danielle's height.

Generally Sammy is off the charts.

When driving through the doldrums of Pennsylvania (in the wee hours of the night) on your way to Cincinnati, it is decidedly not recommended that you arrive at your hotel, in negative degree weather and try to transfer your child to a crap-ass crib. Trust me.

Now what we did learn at that hotel when Sammy refused to sleep is that apparently Sammy now knows all of "Moo, Baa, La La La" off by heart.

Do you know how gross it is to pick raisins out of the crevices in your car seat? I didn't think so. But we do.

Cheerios used to be the ultimate food! Now? What about them says "please Dump me in the floor". (note: This was written in December. In January we still love dumping cheerios out. UGH.)

Is there a career that can be made about bringing people their shoes? If I had a nickel for every time Samson played his game of finding people's shoes and bringing them to their owner. We'd....have a lot of nickels.

Books Sammy know by heart: 1) Moo, Baa, La La La. 2) Panda Bear, Panda Bear (otherwise known as "Whatdoyousee?" 3) the Going to Bed Book and a host of others...

Songs Sammy now sings by heart: Abc's, twinkle twinkle, baa baa black sheep, and some wierd mid-western songs that Danielle has taught him where the dude refers to his big toe a "great big Wabida". Note: Sammy now calls his big toe a wabida. This will be awkward later in life.

Sammy apparently can open doors and use door handles. We learned this when we were at our neighbors and I heard him say "bye bye". I looked up and he was out by the elevator. So....yeah.

Yes, I have heard Sammy say the following in his sleep:  "Nora" "Nora". He really loves Nora. 

You know that Scene where lady Macbeth can't get blood the blood off her hands? That's how I feel about poop smell.

It's amazing that sammy knows please and thank you. He uses them correctly. With an abundance of cuteness. Now we are dealing with the complete perplexion of why, when he follows the please "PEEEEEEEEEESE" rules, does he not always get what he wants. Examples are:

"PEESE, pen. PEEEESE, Pen. PEEEEEEEEESE?"

"PEESE, snack. PEEEESE, snack. PEEEEEEEEESE?"

"PEESE, <insert dangerous object>. PEEEESE, <insert dangerous object, again>. PEEEEEEEEESE?"

....In January and February....

What is it about crayons that makes kids do insane things. What about them says "hey, eat me!" or "please write with us on the couches and walls."

So there's this thing called "The instant tantrum". Otherwise known as testing mom and dad (how long does this last???) It is basically when Sammy will decide he must have something (examples include: I need that raisin, or I really want my toothbrush, etc...)

The worst part of the instant tantrum is this fake tortured face that Sammy makes. That's when I uncontrollably start to giggle. It's horrible but just so darn funny. Yes, this is not advisable parental behavior. But it's just so ridiculous. He deserves an Oscar for the drama that can follow the most mundane of things like "no you can't play with a plunger" or "no you can't put mom's chapstick in your mouth."

Speaking of crayons...A couple weeks ago we watched the real battle of right vs. wrong. and internal struggle of good vs evil. We asked Sammy to put his crayons down because he was essentially coloring on the walls. Then I watched him go through the following: [Sammy internal thoughts] "Put the crayon down. I know it's right. But. I. Can't. Give. In. Ok, I've got it. I'm going to go over to the table to make like I'm putting it down - that ought to give them satisfaction. Then, at the last second, I'm going to scream, hold onto it, and run around. That makes total sense. Yep. total."

Somehow we are raising a little religious boy. Samson now:

   

   -  Watches me pray in the mornings  - so now every morning he runs around in a  pint sized tallis with a kippa (yarmulka) and a prayer book

   - Sings multiple Hebrew songs he hears in synagogue  from hallelujah to shabbat, shabbat shalom, ma tovu.

  - Decided lighting shabbat candles might be his favorite thing of the week (or he likes fire but I'll go with the former)

And we finally know our name!!!! Sammy finally does not look in the mirror or at a picture of himself and say "baby"

New songs added to the repertoire: An entire CD of children's music from his class. happy birthday. way too much elmo.  

The 4 greatest words ever: "Wanna. take. a. nap." No I am not making this up. That happens now. and it's just glorious. No fighting to go down, just excitement for a nap. Sammy is taking after Danielle more and more every day.

Best trick to get Sammy to drop something he wants to do (ex: see Nora, get out of the bath, etc...): Tell him whatever it is is going "night-night". We feel somewhat bad but it's so effective! 'Water's going night-night". "Toys are going night-night."

I know it's strange, but I desperately want to teach Sammy the word "don't".  It is insanley confusing when he doesn't want something but repeatedly complains ""I want it! I waaaaaaant it!"

Sammy is starting to figure out Danielle is pregnant. I think?

   Sammy: Baby come out

   Mommy: The baby is small it needs to grow

   Sammy: Baby growing

   Mommy: yes it is

   Sammy (lifting Danielle's shirt): Baby come out

Daily obsessions (I say daily because they change that fast: Thomas the train. Count. Crayon. Elmo. and repeat....

Our new restaurant game is: grab you by the hand and run around in circles around the whole place for an hour at a time? yeah...It's kind of fun though.  

Highlight quotes from Samson the chatterbox: 

- "Mommy is cool. Daddy is Jewish"

- "Daddy da bomb"

- "Mon-ca in 'Cago. Rob is in Vegas. Daddy in Montreal. Sabbah in Canada" 

Sammy is a bit of a linguist: He can count to 10 in english, 8 or 10 (depending) in spaish and now to 5 in Hebrew!

Pictures for your amusement:

Captain Destructo.

"Sammy, lemon's are sour."

The learned one.

One might wonder why I have a picture of Danielle's foot in a sock. The reason is, that Samson's feet are big enough that Danielle confused her socks with his. 

Hair, meet food.

I don't have a witty caption other than to say this picture was funny.

Mom's shoes.

Ummmmmm....

Reading Macbeth

Ok - this is way more sophisticated than Macbeth. 

On the way to work?

I think Samson has a nicer wardrobe than me.

The truth behind this photo is much lamer than what really happened. In reality, I paid $15 to get Sammy on skates, took him around the rink once  - then realized he was thinking "my ankles are not strong enough to skate yet, dad - enough please." I was thinking, " I hope this is a cool picture because my back is killing me!" Never the less: Samson was on skates!!! 

A date with Aviv - Or as Sammy says: "Beeb". This was obviously heavily chaperoned so we are certain nothing unsavory happened.

Just your average lunch with Johnny.

Someone is reaalllllllly tired.

Living out their parent's dreams from the movie "Big"

I guess Sammy and Naama are on a proper date - He picked her up sharply at 8pm.

Getting ready for a late-night trip to Montreal. 

Mind: Blown. Part 1.

The cold is not so bad when you are on a sled. Next time maybe we can find a slope.

104 degree fever. The flu sucks.

Post-haircut look. How is he only 21 months?

We have an excellent helper living next door.

Like I said, a little religious guy

Safe to say Sammy like Piano.

Fun with Kenia!

Mind: Blown. (part 2)

Videos for your amusement:

Counting in Spanish (work in progress)

Trying lemons. At least Sammy doesn't give up easily.

Walking in Kenia's shoes.