End of August: Wedding survival

Things I have learned

You want to see a proud and excited parent?  I wish I had a picture of myself when I saw Sammy running around yelling “Hockey hockey!”  He then hit a block with the hockey stick. 3 months – he’s on skates. Mark my words…

There was one day when Sammy decided to wake up at 7:45. 7:45!!!! Being as smart as I am, that was the day that I tried to outsmart him by getting up at 6:45 to shower before he woke up. Yeah. I did that. Crap.

We are learning to count. So far we’ve started at: “oooooooone , 5, 9”

It’s interesting that Sammy is speaking a little Spanglish: our counting efforts have resulted in some interesting improvements. Now he says: “ooooooone, dooooos, treeeeee”

Houston – we have a climber. Sammy has clearly mastered the idea of getting up onto things – He’ll climb onto the couch, the ottoman, run up slides, climb stairs. 90% of the time he’s figured out how to scoot down. I’m only mildly concerned about the other 10% where he sticks out his head to ponder his daredevil options.

Captain Destructo Moment of the Week:  Sammy broke into the pantry, took out a tub of Nesquik and proceeded to pour it all over the floor.

How to make a mother unhappy: See above.

Explanatory Note: The next bits are about Aunty Monica and Uncle Rob's wedding two weeks ago in Cincinnati

The definition of irrational can be seen in the following example:

In an attempt to pacify a totally energized and manic Sammy during Aunty Monica's wedding, I somehow ended up giving him two containers of Cheerios.  Only problem: if you are trying to eat cheerios but holding two containers you can’t really eat much of anything. Of course, when I tried to take one away to help him – freak out. He ended up sleeping with those two cheerios containers. I guess it's the principal? 

Sammy looked uber cool in his uber suave baby suit.  It only took 2 hours for his uber suit to be uber ruined. Now it needs to be uber washed.

Tired. That’s what you are while chasing after a one year old during a cocktail hour in a large open space with many pitfalls and things to knock over. As you run by, sweating in your tux, everyone will smile giddily and say “He’s Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo adorable." I smiled and ran on all the while withholding my internal plea for heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp!

Massive confusion part 1: First, he called our friend Bobby “Bobby” (see past blog posts). Then, he began to call his new Uncle Rob “Bobby”. Well, there was a collision of worlds when we were staying at Bubby Bobbi’s house for the wedding in Cincinnati - with Uncle Rob. He said “Bobby” so many times he’s worn the word out. And now no one knows who he is referring to.

Massive confusion part 2: Sammy adores his Savtah (grandmother). But can you picture his confusion when we went to brunch with his Aunt Sarah (Savtah's twin sister)? I can only imagine what was running through his brain...

What happens when you spin your child around repeatedly on an office chair and then let him walk? That was rhetorical. What happens is what you would expect. Trust me it’s funny.

Things I am dreading: the fact that I can no longer watch Sunday football. When is Sammy old enough to start rooting for the Giants?

I'm worried for what will happen when, one day, Samson gets his own phone. He's really into chatting on it. At the moment, he will run around picking up every possible object (examples: remote, wire, paper) as well as real phones - and will  hold them up to his ear saying "hi!" and "b-bye!" There's a big bill in our future - I can see it now.

Sammy is kind of like a car with no brakes. 

Top new words of the week (we have some themes):

Friends:

Johnny

Hannah

Naama

“enia” (kenia)

Lea

Food:

Apple sauce

Eggs

Yummy

Eat

Other:

Boom!

Dance!

Up! Uppy! Up!

Pictures (and videos) for your amusement:

Sammy is afraid of no one....Least of all a giant dog.  Megan/Hans/Claire/Caitlin - Thanks for babysitting!!

Sammy's business stops for no one. He doesn't care whether someone is on the other end  of the line.

Sammy getting prepped for the wedding with Bubby Bobbi

A moment of reprieve during cocktail hour - overlooking Cincinnati at dusk.

Maybe he'll be "The Whiz!"

The Arcade: mind blowing for little ones.

It's all fun and games until someone (Samson) decides to BE the skee-ball. Luckily Aunt Rochelle and Uncle Steve were there to roll him up the ramp.

Pants-less fun at the outdoor mall in Columbus

Mass confusion - there are two Savtahs! (and a Sabbah rabba - great grandfather)

Samson will not sit still on someone's for anyone or anything. Except maybe chocolate Cold Stone ice Cream. Maybe the discussion explained in the next picture was due to all the sugar.

"Grandpa Steve: Here's what's going to happen. I am going to spend the next two hours running in circles around the main floor of the house. Don't try to stop me. This is not a negotiation." And so he did....

I see a giant tent in my future....

Flying is tiring....right Mom?

I'm really into the RNC. Can't wait for the DNC! Me and Clint! I talk to chairs too!

No caption required.

Dancing Machine

Spinning Fun!

August - Lots and lots of plane rides

Things I have Learned

Sammy has started “parroting” everything we say.  I only really started to worry about this about 45 minutes into our car ride home from DC while listening to Louis CK. After the 42^nd “f” word the guilt overwhelmed me and I turned it off. Playing Louis CK with your child in the car - Worst parenting move ever?

One of the best things Sammy says is his “bye bye”. It is perfectly enunciated and has several meanings. Here are the various definitions:

1.      I’m ready to leave (often spoken while climbing into his stroller and sitting down)

2.      You are leaving so – See you later

3.      Someone else is leaving

4.      I am leaving

We love when he says “byebye” to other people. But unfortunately most people do not get to hear it. I think this is Sammy’s idea of a practical joke. Without fail, he will wait until we’ve already left and are out of earshot of our departed friends. Then he will softly utter his byebye. We’ll get there.

Most kids love Elmo. However, Sammy is truly involved in a deep love affair with Elmo’s friend Abby Cadabby. We still can’t get him to watch TV but he does grab the Sesame street books and yell “Abby!!! Abby!!!” for extended periods of time.

Sammy is really getting into music. He finally started dancing a few weeks back. Now every morning he gets up and points to the speakers so he can bust a move to Ziggy Marley (random, I know – but a great adult friendly kids album called “Family Time” for all you parents out there). He’s also been humming music! My only concern is that he’s only going to want to listen to reggae. There’s only SO much reggae I can take.

Sammy is also proving to be like his mom. I think we can officially declare his favorite food being cheese. Whenever I take out string cheese or even say the word, he starts yelling “CHEEEEEEEEEEEESE!! CHEEEEESSE!!!

He also somehow knows to say cheese when his picture is being taken. I love that we are starting to understand him now.

Ok. Here’s something no one should attempt. 3 flights in 4 days with a 15 month old. Period. There’s just no good thing about that scenario.

Sammy showed us a new side of his personality on those flights. In the comics and stories there’s Jekyll and Hyde, Bruce Banner and The Hulk. Meet Samson and “Plane Samson”. One is a cuddly cute friendly child. The other is a lethal destructo out to make you and the general public miserable.

It’s official. We’ve become “those people” on the plane. On the flight from Detroit to Montreal, Sammy was freaking out so much that I decided I stopped caring what the rest of the passengers thought. He broke me. Sorry to everyone else, they can shove it.

The Detroit flight was so bad that it gets 2 lines in this post. In trying to contain Sammy for landing (he has to sit on an adult’s lap) I was:

a)      Sweating

b)      In pain from being repeatedly elbowed in the neck by a  strong, squirming child

c)      Did I mention tired? Because I was unbelievably tired.

Nap tease

Sammy believes in the motto “I’ll be good for everyone but Mom and Dad.” He decided that “plane” week would be the same week that he would test us. Making absolutely nothing easy. However, with the babysitter in Michigan, my parents, Kenia  - basically everyone but us got this little angel. I am grateful that this was short lived. Yikes. I was starting to feel like the boy who cried wolf.

You know your child is getting older by their level of dirtiness. The older, the dirtier I think. He’s like a magnet. Or a dirt vacuum. It’s bad when you literally have pangs of guilt on a day when they go to bed without a bath because they've gotten so insanely dirty you can see a thin coat on him.

There is this looming, scary, terrifying change that I can feel coming. I keep thinking it’s here but it’s not here yet. It is the impending doom of the change to 1 nap. It’s like being trapped in the suspense moment in a scary movie that never ends. I love the 2 naps!

What’s scarier than Danielle and I flying with Sammy? Well, it’s me taking a 2 hour flight with Sammy solo. The fear/panic I was experiencing led to some serious strategic work to survive this potential nightmare. Somehow we made it through the whole thing in one piece – no crying, no freak-outs – perfect! I’ve never been so tired though. Here is how it went:

Step 1. Pack enough finger food to last the whole flight.

Step 2. Prepare two squeezy fruit packs for take-off and landing.

Step 3. Pack as many books as will fit in the bag – make sure the books have pop-up or tabs for Sammy to play with for long periods of time.

Step 4. Pack bagels (like rawhide for kids) that he can chew for long periods of time.

Step 5. Cheerios, cheerios, cheerios

Step 6. beg flight attendant for an extra seat if there’s an empty one (key)

Step 7. pray

The worst moment of my solo flight? Nothing to do with Sammy. It was when I asked the flight attendant how much longer we had left (I didn’t know it was a 2 hour flight). I thought we had about 20 minutes left. She told me there was 1 more hour. How the hell was I going to survive that?? 1 hour! I broke into a sweat. I essentially treated it like my hike to Macchu Piccu. Baby steps. I survived that flight in 5 minute increments. Sammy had a blast though.

While running around the airport (and therefore having me chase him around) Sammy found a pay phone and started talking into it. It occurs to me that he will probably never use a payphone in his life. He may not even know what one is!

Coming next week: Monica’s wedding!

Important statistics we are keeping track of:

       -          Number of states/provinces visited in the last 2 weeks: 4 (Michigan, Quebec, Ohio, Kentucky)

       -          Number of flights taken in the last 2 weeks: 5 (!!!!)

       -          Number of two-bath days: 1

       -          Number of in-flight meltdowns: 2

       -          Number of poops taken during flight when the fasten seatbelt sign is on and we were confined to our seats for 15 minutes: 1 (and the guy next to us was not sympathetic – instead he stuffed his nose in his shirt for 15 minutes trying like a ______ to make us feel guilty. 1) it didn’t work. 2) Thanks for understanding dude – it wasn’t THAT bad).

Some of my favorite new words of the week:

       -          Doggy

       -          Woof Woof

       -          Honey

       -          Peach

       -          Neigh (horse sound)

       -          Up (or uppy)

       -          Apple

       -          Banana (or “nana”)

       -     Bubbles

       -     Bus
       -     Johnny
       -     Tree
-

      Pictures for your amusement

Just a bunch of guys taking a stroll (Johnny and Sammy)

Very important (according to mom) that Sammy gets the best view of downtown East Lansing as possible.

All we wanted was for Sammy to take a nap on the plane. That clearly did not happen. Instead, we got  "Plane  Sammy" . And then he promptly fell asleep after he got off. With Cheerios in his hand.

Normally we'd worry when Sammy disappears and we don't hear him. Luckily his idea of fun (on this day)  was to go and read some books.

At the Natural History Museum - did you rip off that hand!?!?

Sammy is pretty sure he could take the T Rex. 

Chasing Sammy in the airport is fun!

Sammy doesn't stop his business for anyone. He can be seen here making deals before boarding.

He is very into Safety. I'm pretty sure he looked  at all the pictures in the safety manual.

These headphones stayed on for exactly 2 seconds.

Letting the other passengers know he's there. Like I said - I no longer care about them.

Chasing Claire up the stairs! He somehow taught himself to climb down too.

June/July: ...and we're walking! And Talking!

Things I have learned:

There was a proclamation that I must have missed. It went something like: “Henceforth, you get sick every time your child does. Sucks to be you. It really does.” Well, that's a real joy to know.

Danielle and I are constantly rating ourselves as parents. Did we do this right? That wrong? Should we be doing something different? Well – I’m certain of one thing: We failed at TV. When Sammy was born, we agreed that he would not watch TV for the first 2 years. Then in Israel, we realized it might be useful if he at least cared to watch it occasionally. Too late. We failed. We are doomed to raise a child that for the moment could not give a hoot about it. Pray for me on my solo flight to Cincinnati in a few weeks. Ideally he’d watch Sesame Street on the iPad. In reality, I’m going to give him a box – yes a box – of Cheerios that will hopefully last 1.5 hours.

Samson’s alter ego Saul has gone away. We have been introduced to Captain Destructo. Captain Destructo like to destroy things. On second thought, I want to replace the word things with EVERYTHING.

Many people like to publish theorems. These are based on axioms, correlations, etc… Well, Despite not ever doing this before I’m about to publish a theorem: “More space equals more destruction.” There is a direct correlation between the amount of space and the amount of destruction that a one year old can cause. 

Maybe we need to get a house. Samson went to Montreal and was so excited about having all the space that he literally crawled in circles screaming with glee for the first 20 minutes. Got it: House.

During the weeks when I’m not writing the blog and Danielle is yelling at me to write it, I’m often taking notes on my iPhone. The following is a note that I took. Since I have no idea what I meant (though I could probably guess) I’ll let you decide what I was going to say. The note was: “Exploding. Utter”. I can only gather that it’s probably not good.

A few weeks back Sammy and I had a father son day in New York (Thanks Bobby Buttons for accompanying us). We went to brunch. We walked in 100 degree heat through the city to Summer Stage making numerous stops on the way. At some point while Sammy was chugging water from a water bottle, covered in sweat, berries, dirt, eggs and a variety of other things, I realized: I might have had the Dirtiest baby in New York in my hands. I could just feel the other parents staring!! Of course, if Samson was dirty, I was filthier.

.      The term : “Pink Eye Pit”

Pink-aye-pit

      1.      –noun

      Usually, a confined area where many children are playing, drooling, sweating and generally getting dirty

       Example: Oh no. I’m pretty sure Sammy is playing in a “Pink Eye Pit”

We took Sammy to Magnolia for his first taste of banana pudding after Summer Stage. I fully expected that upon tasting what I consider to possibly be the greatest food in New York that he would simply get googly eyes and to promptly poop his pants. He was neither here nor there on it in the end but I still thought I’d share my expected reaction, which would have been awesome.

You haven’t lived until you “tick checked”  a one year old. You really haven’t.

You also haven’t lived until you’ve gone all the way up and down 20 blocks of broadway looking for a lost croc.

Sammy seems to have grown up suddenly. Last thing I remember, he was crawling and babbling. Then, one day I wake up and he’s got a vocabulary of about 20 words and…walking!!

Despite having many new words in his arsenal there are still 2 that are the most common. They are both helpful – and frustrating. Most popular word: No. Often spoken many at a time: “nonononononono.”

The word yes is also becoming helpful. For example. This conversation actually happened:

            Neighbor: Did you poop?

Sammy: Yes

Neighbor: Is it bad?

Sammy: Yeeess

Neighbor: Is Kenia (nanny) going to have to clean it up?

Sammy: (smiling) Yeeeeeeeeesssssss!

Words I would love to be able to look up in the baby babble dictionary:

       -          Beebee

       -          Ba-Bee

       -          Da-b-day

Sometimes I’d like to have a rational conversation about what’s actually happening when I change a diaper. It would go something like:

-          Me: I’m changing you. This is arguably the biggest service I can do for you. Why must you make like it’s torture.

-          Sammy: But why are you doing it! I was playing! Now I’m going to squirm and wriggle and flip myself over and yell at you to teach you a lesson.

-          Me: Do you not get that what I’m doing is not fun?

-          Sammy: Who cares! This is annoying! Now I’m going to kick at you repeatedly.

-          Me: I will remind you of this when I’m 85. I have the memory of an elephant.

We are teaching Sammy to not throw things on the floor when he’s done with them. The result was him passing me a Cheerio so I could eat it. AMAZING!

Upon skyping with Sabba and Savta the day after getting back from Montreal – Sammy gave me this pissed off look as if to say: "Wait why aren't they here? This is a bad idea on all accounts."

Samson is truly a strong willed kid. He does everything his own way. For weeks we’ve been practicing walking with him – and he shows little to know interest in doing it on his own. Then one day, he just goes and that’s it. We never had an interim period where he was trying to balance, falling after a few steps. He just said “I’m ready” and now he is literally running all over like he’s been walking forever!

Along with walking comes:

       -          Catching him with his hands in the toilet (awesome!)

       -          Numerous face plants when he is not careful (yikes!)

       -          A desire to not hold my hand anymore which makes it very hard to steer him

       -          Seriously exhausted parents

There is an important debate raging (among many parents I’m sure). And it’s a really important one: When introducing your child to Star Wars, do you start with episode 1 (i.e. the Jar Jar Binks disaster) or episode 4 (the original). On first thought: How could you even consider episode 1 – it’s AWFUL! However, kids love it. If the objective is to get Sammy to love it, shouldn’t I seriously consider that? Ugh. Decisions, decisions…It’s hard to be a parent!

First baseball game? Check. Sammy, when given lots of food, can make it through at least 6 innings of a baseball game!

Important Statistics we are tracking:

       -          Number of lost shoes to date: 2

       -          Number of cheerio boxes eaten: 3

       -          Number of Sammy’s friends that moved away: 2 (sadness!)

       -          Number of milk cartons we’ve gone through since converting to non-training sippy cups.

       -          Number of Amazon orders for “baby supplies”: 14

       -     Height percentile: Off the charts. Literally.

       -     Weight percentile: 97th

Strange things we googled: “kid biting crib rails”

Result of strange googlings: Some more money spent on Amazon for “rail guards”.

Pictures for your amusement:

Mets game on father's day at Citi Field

Mr. cool.

Captain Destructo's wreckage.

Taking in some Monet at the Bronx Botanical Gardens

No need for parents part 1:  Sammy and Nora at Wave Hill

No need for parents part 2: Sammy and Taylor

Doing his best Billy Joel

We spend all our money on stuff for Sammy at Target. Or is that stuff for Danielle? Either way. We know who steers this ship.

The epitome of cuteness?

Montreal bagel: "mmmmmmmm...."(which is what Sammy says anytime he eats something he likes)

Naked gardening with Sabbah.

Captain Destructo destroys some butter at a restaurant

Hanging with the great grand parents

Hanging with Bobby Buttons (Mark) in the "Pink Eye Pit" at Summer stage

hydrating

"Dirtiest baby in New York"

Magnolia banana pudding

Sammy loves his toy car. Recently though - he's kind of been using this as his "toilet". i.e. he will get on it and poop. Maybe we should toilet train on this? Is that wrong?

Eventually we lost track

walking in dad's shoes.

Linus part 1

 A little walk with Sabbah in NYC

Keeping cool with Johnny. Sammy keeps saying "Joh-nnny?"

Examining the softness of the restaurant booths. With his head.

First haircut!!! Pretty sure his hair was cut by famous comedienne Lisa Lampanelli

Sooooooo.you didn;t like dinner?

Fun with Nora!

First trip to Camp Sprout Lake where Mom and Dad met!

Ummmm....you got some on your face.

Inspecting the softness of the seats at the library. With his head. He does this a lot!

This nice gesture between Naama and Samson was followed by Samson shoving her out of the way to get to a toy. We're working on it.

Maybe they'll be college roomates?

You don't need pants to play in public fountains when you are a 1 year old.

Is he too young to drive the forklift?

Linus part 2.

In case you were wondering how tall Sammy was - he is as big as a pack and play!

In his "Gatsby" suit

James Bond-ing it up with Aunty Monica

Videos For your amusement:

This first one is a "two for one": 1) It showcases Sammy walking. 2) We were hanging out with Bobby Buttons ans taught Sammy to say "Bobby". Unfortunately Sammy decided to yell "Bobby" repeatedly at 6:45AM the next day until Bobby woke up. But let's be honest. It was worth it.

The Piano Man in action