Documentation of fatherhood insanity

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Week 42 - 44: The Lobster.

Things I have Learned:

The pecking order of importance to Sammy goes as follows:

1. Toy Lobster (see evidence in pictures below)

2. Kenia (Nanny)

3. Cheerios

4. Mom/Dad

5. All other

Sammy is training to be the world’s strongest man with his one handed exercises like pulling himself into standing position, crawling, bending down to get things, etc… . Why is everything he does one handed (he alternates)? Because he cannot let go of the lobster for anything.

Sammy loves the lobster so much he has actually (on multiple times) been found sleeping with the lobster in his hand.

Sammy is officially mobile. Really mobile. You can’t take your eyes off the guy. One minutes he’s sitting and playing with blocks, the next he’s pulled himself up standing next to the couch and he’s shredding magazines (another favorite past time).

Other things Sammy loves: The TV remote. iPhone. Landline portable telephone. Warning: Do not take these away from him if you value your ears.

There is that expression “Ladies that Lunch”. Sammy is a “baby that brunches”. I find that Sammy is on a path to visit every diner/brunch restaurant in the city. There are some people that don’t appreciate babies that brunch. These people are restaurant employees. This is because "Babies that brunch" are done eating, all their food on the floor looks like a bomb that went off in a plant that makes cheerios, eggs, baby food, etc…

1. The term : “Kamikäby”

Ka-mik-ay-bee

1. –noun

The combination of the words kamikaze baby. Usually, what one calls a baby that is constantly trying to lunge himself off beds and couches, regardless of the inevitable bad-ness that will happen if success is achieved.

Sometimes Sammy gets colds. Please note that when your child coughs into your open mouth it is bad. The result is a mom with Strep throat and a dad that has sinuses that are near explosion. Oh, and grouchy parents.

Sammy is such a well dispositioned kid that we didn’t even know he had an ear infection! We took him for a regular check-up and randomly founds out. Sorry bud!

Danielle and I almost never fight (we are expert bickerers though, and excel at poking the proverbial bear). It should be noted that the number one debate we have is over who has the right to be more tired. Frequent comments are:

“But you slept for an extra half hour!”

“He woke up at 7am for you again? Why does he wake up early for me!?! “

“HOW ARE YOU TIRED? YOU TOOK A NAP! I DIDN’T”

Etc…

In case we weren’t sure whether our apartment was baby proofed, Sammy put us on notice when he toppled a lamp last week – shattering a nice light bulb. Don't worry no babies were hurt - Just the light bulb.

The Kenia boot camp continues. The past 2 weeks have us moving on to walking … Watch out! The best exercise to watch is where he’s learning to balance while standing. This involves letting him go for a quick second while he’s standing. The result is mildly humorous. We have not mastered balance yet. Other skills: Clapping and waving (got that one mostly down!)

When Sammy randomly wakes up in the middle of the night every once in a while, a last resort is to let him sleep in our bed. We never learn. He gets in between us and thinks it’s playtime. And by playtime I mean slapping us in the face to get our attention (or head butting)

Statistics we are keeping track of:

- Height: 90^th – 97^th percentile

- Weight: 90^th percentile – 25 lbs!

- Head: 60^th percentile (getting bigger!)

- Number of trips into the city alone with dad: 1 (thanks for letting us go swimming Naomi!)

- Number of times caught sleeping with Lobster: Too many to count

- Number of Kroos that were sick in our apt last week: 3

- Number of times I mentioned how well Sammy sleeps with the result being that he woke up crying from 12am – 2:30am – one (and it was awful! Why don’t I learn!?)

Pictures for your amusement:

Hanging with his crew at the Children's museum

riveted

Doing a good job posing

Slightly less excited about this photo...

Chilling at aunty Gavy's (Thanks for babysitting!)

Post-brunch floor at Lansky's diner

New hobby: Pulling books off shelves

New hobby results...

The start of a peach (note lobster in hand)

End of peach.

Chilling at the Riverdale stables

Baby that brunches. With lobster.

Bus ride. With lobster.

Asleep. With lobster.

Too young for a license, I think.

Now we're talking...

This is what happens when I feed Sammy. It's how boys do things.

Baby Mohawk

This is a new skill that you don't know your child has until you leave Manhattan

First try - six stairs!

Our house is a nice melange of primary colors. I take it back. Our house has exploded with bright colors.

Climbing stairs!

Getting better at walking!

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Weeks 38-41: Crawling, Walking, and other such things...

Things I have learned:

Several big lessons over the last 4 weeks:

1. When your child gets older, you no longer have the time to write a blog once a week. Most of your time is spent chasing after said child.

2. When you do have free time, you are significantly more tired.

3. When you stop writing a blog abruptly, people complain (sorry!)

Due to the increase in Sammy play time, and the tiredness, we will be moving to a more picture and video driven blog format. Hope that works for everyone!

1. The term : “Back-seat-keeper-upper”

Bak seet kee-p-er up er

1. –noun

Usually, the role one parent assumes when trying to keep a child awake in the backseat of a car ride so that they can nap at home instead of the car. A successful Back-seat-keeper-upper can save parents lots of precious time – an unsuccessful one will find themselves sitting in a car while the child naps.

Danielle did not find my “teach a man to fish request funny”. I think this is because teaching Sammy to “fish” involves a Kitchen Aid (or at least it used to – see below)

I say “used to” because in the past few weeks Sammy decided that he’s pretty much done with any food that he doesn’t get to put in his own mouth. And all over himself.

Sammy has officially been enrolled in Kenia’s (our nanny) School of Cheerio Motivation. By this I mean that there are basically 2 things responsible for Sammy hitting major development milestones: our Nanny Kenia and cheerios.

1. First, Sammy went through crawling boot camp. A constantly moving trail of cheerios had him army crawling in one afternoon! And that was that.

2. Up next? Pulling himself up. After days of practice with mom and dad and Kenia, some cheerios were put up on the rail of his crib and….boom. Pull himself up just like that.

Do not underestimate how much kids love bland cereal.

Sammy has loads of toys. LOADS! I know this because after each day our apartment is nothing short of a disaster. The thing is, there is no toy as cool as a tag. It can be a tag on anything. A stuffed animal, an article of clothing, his exersaucer, anything. If there’s a tag to be found, Sammy will find it. And put it in his mouth. Repeatedly.

As his personality develops, Sammy has become more and more picky about the books he wants to read. In particular, he is very partial to anything by Sandra Boynton (she of such new classics as Moo Baa La La La, Barnyard dance, and the borderline illegible Red Hat, Blue Hat). I hear that many other kids love her books too. It dons on me that this woman will have a massive impact on a new crop of babies – but what if her books are so silly that our kids end up thinking life is about hippos and singing pigs? I’m only mildly scared…

Sammy got his first bump on his head. He leaned over and bumped his head on our ottoman. While Danielle was freaking out, Sammy was giggling. Pretty sure he’s got a tough head.

Like many Americans, Sammy has decided he will pretty much eat until the food is gone, never mind when he gets full.

This kid is flying around in his walker with wheels (or as we call it the “walky wheely”). Three things I’ve noticed.

1. I need to be careful of my toes or he will run me over

2. He excels at 3 point turns

3. I caught Danielle putting a Swiffer in his hands while he was wheeling around!

Sammy is officially teething. This time, it’s real. I swear. There are a few signs that I will not mention but lets just say we haven’t had to change his pants since he was really little.

He also randomly wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes. While this is exhausting, it was hilarious to me that at 12:45am I had to explain to Danielle it was not 6:30am and that she was not getting up for the day.

The ability to sit up and pull himself up has made nap time a real challenge. Sammy can often be found pacing back from one end of his crib to the other instead of sleeping.

New morning tactic (that is working!): When Sammy wakes up at 6ish, if we leave toys in his crib he will often just sit and play for a half hour, much to the glee of his sleeping parents.

The Giants won the superbowl and Sammy was having none of it. He didn’t do so well with all the yelling, cheering, barking dogs, etc… He spent the first half rotating between crying, trying to calm down and yelling. Half 2 was spent sleeping.

Important statistics we are tracking:

- Longest nap of Sammy’s life: 3 hours

- Number of Kroos that went to the super bowl parade: 2 (and one was not me. And one did not care much (Sammy))

- Number of full pears eaten in a sitting (and it was not cut up!): 1

Pictures for your amusement: